Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML
Today, I saw my best friend's car in the parking lot of the store, so I ran over to say hi, since I'm secretly in love with him. I saw him and his girlfriend getting nasty in the back. I'm now at home, crying and masturbating. FML
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Top comments
knibbsy 4
I hope you waved! Nothing would kill his boner like doing the opposite of what he expects. Actually, you should have held up your hand up to the window and spaced your index finger and thumb about 2 inches apart, to indicate that he has a tiny little penis. Do that while laughing.
x_Cupcakes 0
Disturbing!
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Comments (199)
Jonscarl 0
i would have winked then flicked him off and called the cops for indicent exposure
doof_fisch 2
That's why whenever I go to a Mexican restaurant, I always bring along a corndog from home to eat first. That way, it gets the pervs "off" so I can later eat my burrito in peace while they're still flaccid.
RedEG4 1
don't flatter yourself, I'm sure he was beating one out over the delicious burrito.
lilluvowl 0
.... eewwwww
iangoodall311278 0
the way you eat burritos is obviously sexy !
wriptidez 0
license plate number
ksummerville91_fml 0
stfu zealous, you Ass, People like you make me Sick telling People what THEY remember in THEIR heads. i can remember Standing in my crib One Night crying for my mom as She ran in while fixing her Pink Robe AND I remember taking my baby picture at the studio when I was 1 1/2 so SUCK IT. kindegarten on up are especially vibrant memories so hush it, dick face. she should know what she saw.
iTwitch 5
he wanted to give y'all some extra sour cream to use haha
some1Uknow 0
that's when you start licking the burrito
6ixtynin9 2
LOL!!!!