By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 610
You deserved it 4 860

Same thing different taste

Top comments


Cleo_Nemo_ 9

Woah she needs to slow down..

AlaskanEskimo34 0

Hahaha fitting name he chose "spermbankonlegs" how appropriate.

We've got a stage-five clinger right here gentlemen. May god have mercy on us all.

n_epic_fail 14

Yea name the first one, "FuckMyLife"

FMLshark 12

She'll probably want to name them after the last three boyfriends she had that "mysteriously" disappeared. Get out while you still can, OP.

thamack408 11

why? she's just want to have kids. she probly has her list of names

It's when she starts arranging your funeral that you need to be concerned..

Zimmington 21

Dump her, dump her fast before you end up with 5 kids, a wife you hate, living in a trailer park, & contemplating suicide!

GovernorGeneral 8

"... she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML ..." Prepare yourself OP.

57 the whole point of the FML is that the OP has only been with this girl three days...OP keep your doors locked and run like hell. Also 141 maybe this is the same girl lol.

desireev 17

I hate when people say 'Dump that Bitch!' and stuff like that... But, in this case, you seriously need to run as fast as you can, OP! This is some scary stuff! RUN!!

And you say "only if we can start makin em'" Giggity!

Maybe she was joking around. Like , she wasn't serious about having kids in the future with you or anything. Some people just name it for fun.

AlaskanEskimo34 0

141-that was the best FML of all time

Looks like you'll be getting it in soon.

rillastyle 1

The ol' Morning after pill in the coffee trick gets em every time

Maybe you could make their initials F. M. L., depending on what Op's last name is, of course. Or give them two middle names, in order to make it work. I think that I'm over-thinking this haha.

Well at least he knows he'll get sex?

Just spike her fruit punch with birth control.

GoW_Chick 14

Psh nah 55 they already have a perfect escape plan if they just work together

Thank you GoW_Chick! That's the funniest thing I've read on here in quite a while :)

I believe Big Sean would say, "WOAH there!"

Why wouldn't you just reply to her comment then?

rillastyle 1

Lol every time you call the kids in for dinner they take off

It won't work to run away, she'll hunt him down and rape him

stevenJB 25

It was a three days grace. But now she is "lost in you". I'm sure that was a "pain" to hear, now your thinking of a relationship "break"...sry couldn't help it

MatheusRajuidas 5

But then a mental "Riot" occurred and he thought to himself "RUN, Foster, RUN!!" (C-C-C-Combobreaker!).

The way i see this, there are two options: 1) she is crazy/madly in love/ had crush on you for years.. 2) she hates you and wants to scare you away

Tell her you hate everything about her and you want her to be gun forrver and get out alive then later relize the animial you have become

Tell her you hate everything about her and you want her to be gun forrver and get out alive then later relize the animial you have become

Run away, run away from the paaaaiiin!

In the words of metallica: "Run for the hills!!!!! Run for your liiiife"!!!!!

gators1995 30
IDontKnow10101 14

wow, she's already planning on having kids, good luck op

Next thing she'll be wrapping her legs around you at climax screaming "be my baby daddy!"

Hey, atleast you know you're bound to get it in ;) nah but seriously, she needs to slow the **** down.

make sure she doesn't sabotage your condoms with a needle.:() or you will be a baby daddy! lol seriously you might watch out with her!:/

shadowwulf95 3

I love how y'all r choosing black names

cyK0tek 0

You guys are getting it all wrong! The name you're looking for is Birtha!

iDaniel525 8

La'Quashish. Can't go wrong with a name like that.

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
stephanieeDawnx 0

GhettoBabyNames.coooooommm! :D There's all sorts of good ones! ^.^ I've seen Koolaidisha, clitorisaquisha, SpongeBobishita. They're really cool... :D

pimpnainteasy 5
sammyjanette 17

What about Kenzie, Emery, Ty, Storm, Summer, Lilly Belle, Jordyn, or Karsyn?

Not Tyrone! If you name him that he'll grow up to be a jailbird.

Larry, Curly and Moe Huey, Dewey and Luey or Vera, Chuck and Dave you pick.

Since OP's children are going to be sweet angels like their father: Raphael, Gabriel, and Michael (Rachel, Gabriella, and Michele if they're girls).

Epsilonyx 15

My name's Raphael! :3 so yeah, go with that. :p

kaoticllama 1

His grandchildren should be vera chuck and dave"grand children on your knee Vera, chuck, and dave."

MatheusRajuidas 5

Cause otherwise she would somehow steal his semen, make herself pregnant, trying to hide for the last 7 months and then anonymously giving birth and naming the children without asking him. Yeah, at least she asked.

Hey now! Stranger things have happened!

saxetsasnak 5

Been right there with ya bud