Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML
Today, I saw my best friend's car in the parking lot of the store, so I ran over to say hi, since I'm secretly in love with him. I saw him and his girlfriend getting nasty in the back. I'm now at home, crying and masturbating. FML
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Top comments
knibbsy 4
I hope you waved! Nothing would kill his boner like doing the opposite of what he expects. Actually, you should have held up your hand up to the window and spaced your index finger and thumb about 2 inches apart, to indicate that he has a tiny little penis. Do that while laughing.
x_Cupcakes 0
Disturbing!
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Comments (199)
Gundamu 0
Oh lord. How old are you and your sister? Depending on the age would make it even worse.
jose1760 1
Sorry I was trying to finish before you guys saw me!!
Zealoushalfling 0
I doubt you would've remembered what happened in kindergarten... especially the fact that you didn't even know what he was doing, so it would've just easily crossed out of your mind because of it's un-importance to you. I swear... some of these comments are more ridiculous than the fml's themselves.
hkkilla 6
I agree with 12. or, even better, throw the burrito at him! haha :]
OMGxITZxNIKKY 0
I'm pretty damn sure it's jerking off not jacking off
jose1760 1
yea it's jacking off
honestdude 0
extra cheesy burrito...
Sadochan 0
What a wanker. He must be a butcher because he was slapping his meat. Why didn't you look him dead in they eye and make wanking motion back?
Sadochan 0
Shit, so you could see me.
smallsmerry 0
that must have been one damn good burrito but seriously he could have been cleaning sauce off his pants and you just saw it wrong. and he could be making sure nobody looked and saw him
TheTrollrCoaster 2
She wasn't hot you freak. She could have some weird shit like smurf waffles or really itchy nuts.