Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
Heartless234 0
Aw that's embarrassing. Hey sometimes I choke on my saliva :D.
mannix_fml 0
It was mean't to be, dum dum!
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Comments (114)
canadiangirl007 0
Bahaha. I am a lifeguard and I love it when people like you do things like that! Keep it up!
XxMaiWeingxX 0
you put a water bottle down your throat?
dcstream 0
Were you at least able to fit half of it in before you began choking? He would have been impressed with that.
shellybean87 0
looks like you needed assistance. did he give u cpr? lawlz!
AMelodyofJuly 0
So....did he give you CPR? ;-) ;-)
xmeggbaabe 0
Did he give you CPR?
toosoonbreh 0
You can't ******* choke on liquid. Stupid ass bitch.
19fml18 0
How did you manage to do THAT?
Melancholics 0
whoever is 'LOLing' or think this is actually funny have no opinion and just say 'LOL ! this is hilarioussss !' just because it's a FML and they're very suggestive.
danimals2011 1
i feel for you. i choke on everything. and since everyone here is so picky i guess i choke on food and my liquids accidently go down my wind pipe. but the point is its embarassing. one time i was choking on steak while eating dinner with my best friend, dad, and sister. they are so used to it they continued with there conversation while i fell out of my chair stopped being able to make noise and started to black out. thankfully it finally came back up.