Today, I was at the lake with my family. I was drinking from a can of soda but didn't realize a bee flew into the can. I didn't swallow it, but I now have Kylie Jenner's lips. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML
Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
Cheaper than Botox. It'll be the newest "natural environmentally friendly" fad. The tag line should read: "Bee One with Nature".
samsterling 19
I could just see that in a magazine ad... "WANT TO SPRUCE UP YOUR LIPS? COME IN TODAY WITH 'DR.' JENNER'S ALL NATURAL 100% BEE LIP ENHANCMENTS, FOR ONLY $899.99 + $299.99 CO-PAY EACH!"
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Comments (29)
Welshite 39
Cheaper than Botox. It'll be the newest "natural environmentally friendly" fad. The tag line should read: "Bee One with Nature".
bodyguerdson 16
Only problem: bees die when they sting so it would very environment unfriendly, plus there's a shortage on bees already as far as i know
bodyguerdson 16
But at least it would be natural
HylianBadger 21
I'm sure they could genetically design bees that didn't die after one sting to solve this issue. Or just genetically design some hornets or wasps to sting without releasing venom, since they already don't die after one sting.
GhostFox 33
Genetic Engineering is not environmentally friendly. Or safe. Genetically modified species tend to be invasive as hell, and information on that relates largely to plant species. Imagine how bad it would be with wasps- the ******* can fly!
samsterling 19
I could just see that in a magazine ad... "WANT TO SPRUCE UP YOUR LIPS? COME IN TODAY WITH 'DR.' JENNER'S ALL NATURAL 100% BEE LIP ENHANCMENTS, FOR ONLY $899.99 + $299.99 CO-PAY EACH!"
bradleybaldwin 9
It's the cool thing to do now anyways so you'll be fine
thatnucca 36
At no extra cost to you too I must add...
Dilexar 26
Uhm, dude, pain and humiliation are quite a cost.
scibyyyy 4
this is literally my biggest fear
Felling 14
Mine too.
Mortoli 30
mines more along the lines of spiders lol
tonyhawk900 2
neighbor at my cabin died cuz he swallowed it jsss
BitterAlmond 8
I think you'd better return them, she's probably wondering where they are.
ShleeG 23
sounds like a win-win situation to me
OdaiGH 2
lmao dude, that sucks
Scarylizard1798 23
New Kylie Jenner challenge: bee lips