Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML
Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perstephane 4
Gross - but that's why you don't drink random things at parties. That, and a million other reasons...
perdix 31
You probably gave that fly lung cancer!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
hk_fml 9
ahh gross. x.x
The_Pleb 0
Remember kids, smoking kills and so does coke
CFR 0
Nothing like the spread of disease and sharing of DNA to bring a party together.
FarSide 23
Nice recovery dip-shit. That fly was the healthiest thing you took into your mouth.
fsxman1 11
better than is somebody put crack or pills in the drink and you get nocked out for the night and get raped by ten fat dudes so you can't sit down for a week.... think on the bright side =)
B4SK3TB4IL 0
I usually don't pick up a random can at a party. probly full of spit cuz som1 probably already drank from it and did other things.fake
caitlyndeon18 10
Awh gross. I guess you should of made sure it was actually pop in the can.
perstephane 4
Gross - but that's why you don't drink random things at parties. That, and a million other reasons...
bertiebass1 5
ewwwwwwwwww
perdix 31
You probably gave that fly lung cancer!
DovdGraaf 0
Poor dude.... good luck and uh.. you made me feel sick..
spaaw 0
did you get fries with that?
Skull_300 0
When you were leaving, are you there person that was walking thru the Garden and "accidently" sat on a cucumber?
perdix 31
20 Smokers, 1 Can < 2 Girls, 1 Cup
Airch 9
naaah dude, never seen the state of a can after a couple of fag buts go in there? the liquid turns black...
perdix 31
Have you seen 2 Girls, 1 Cup? Even a textual description is enough to make you sick. And I have seen what happens when people "dipping snuff" use a Coke can as a spitoon. Both are thoroughly disgusting.
boredomkills89 0
next time something like this happens, remember the beer in american pie. that will make you think twice about putting something random in your mouth. YDI
Starfire22 5
o yum