Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing...

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24207

You deserved it

1794

Favorite

Work

Gratitude walks

What did I do?

Trust

By ohgodwhyfml - 28/11/2015 14:32 - United States - Danbury

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28754

You deserved it

3166

Favorite

By anditburnsburnsburns - 27/8/2013 18:13 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39203

You deserved it

20672

Favorite

By NeverLookingAgain - 30/12/2016 04:16 - United States

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26312

You deserved it

1997

Favorite

By alynna007 - 2/1/2013 10:31 - United States - Lakewood

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47205

You deserved it

2296

Favorite

By Joy - 16/6/2010 14:42 - Denmark

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

35948

You deserved it

19149

Favorite

By iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33100

You deserved it

6540

Favorite

By Koko - 7/4/2016 16:07 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19684

You deserved it

1895

Favorite

By TheAngryBird - 28/6/2012 04:51 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29282

You deserved it

2691

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/11/2013 22:21 - United Kingdom - Derry

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56548

You deserved it

5884

Favorite

By Lonelyhopeful - 5/12/2016 20:08

Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

8504

You deserved it

942

Favorite

By Paulie89 - 20/10/2019 12:00

Bullshit quack chiropractor on the loose!

Today, I told my family how my wrist has been hurting for almost a week. My aunt’s chiropractor boyfriend then decided he could help by suddenly pulling my hand as hard as he could. Not only did my wrist pop and cause me more pain, but my shoulder got dislocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1745

You deserved it

116

Favorite

By imnotacat - 20/7/2011 01:29 - United States

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34876

You deserved it

3078

Favorite

By LowerCrust - 30/1/2012 02:36 - United States

Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30034

You deserved it

2045

Favorite

By Aled - 17/2/2011 16:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37728

You deserved it

3308

Favorite

By justinmdent - 24/11/2014 03:48 - United States - Excelsior Springs

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36562

You deserved it

2935

Favorite

By Anonymous - 11/8/2011 06:04 - Canada

Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32292

You deserved it

4101

Favorite

By CantWin - 7/6/2016 22:38 - United States - Provo

Today, after finally applying myself and busting my butt all semester, I found out the school is accusing me of cheating because they couldn't believe I could have gotten near-perfect grades considering my grade history. If this is how society rewards academic turnarounds, why do I even bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks

17822

You deserved it

1163

Favorite

By Bitch - 26/5/2019 00:02

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I was cheating on him. Surprised, I replied "No, Tim, of course not!" This might have been more convincing if I'd called my boyfriend by his own name, instead of the name of the guy I'm cheating on him with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

440

You deserved it

10305

Favorite

By LittleFriend - 30/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was told I will receive no Christmas or birthday presents for the next 3 years because my parents paid for my rhinoplasty. I needed it because my 12-year-old brother smashed my nose with a hammer in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5790

You deserved it

277

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/5/2017 20:00

Today, the person who bullied me throughout my childhood eventually resulting in me going to therapy and switching schools became my boss. On top of that, he refers to me by the insulting nickname he called me during childhood. It's good to see that growing up hasn't changed him at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5993

You deserved it

374

Favorite

By houdinette - 22/11/2013 23:14 - Sweden - Norrk?ping

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43113

You deserved it

5937

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/10/2013 17:59 - United States - Wallingford

Today, while despairing over having been rejected for my dream job, I received an email asking me to come back in for another interview. Then they called me to say they accidentally sent the email to all the applicants, and that they definitely aren't interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46315

You deserved it

3132

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/7/2012 20:26 - Netherlands - Delft

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28427

You deserved it

3104

Favorite

By Wannabees - 3/4/2012 05:13 - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7392

You deserved it

37605

Favorite

By ThisGuy97 - 12/8/2011 20:46 - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14863

You deserved it

32192

Favorite

By hatelife - 14/6/2011 18:37 - United States

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61172

You deserved it

5137

Favorite

By Jims - 29/4/2011 14:00 - Singapore

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

I agree, your life sucks

39336

You deserved it

5731

Favorite

By Sodapop40 - 21/6/2020 05:05

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1410

You deserved it

100

Favorite

By soldnone - 18/11/2012 10:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24360

You deserved it

1968

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/2/2016 12:37 - Australia - West End

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22663

You deserved it

3005

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/5/2009 17:36 - Poland

Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54665

You deserved it

10713

Favorite

By fat - 12/7/2010 07:52 - United States

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17127

You deserved it

50154

Favorite

By 50sStyle - 12/6/2017 19:00 - United States - Hartland

Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5445

You deserved it

392

Favorite

By twat - 23/1/2009 06:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22935

You deserved it

7801

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/8/2013 19:25 - Thailand - Bang Bua Thong

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26590

You deserved it

40365

Favorite

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62778

You deserved it

9404

Favorite

By Tgreject - 16/8/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41375

You deserved it

3140

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/9/2014 03:30 - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43481

You deserved it

11997

Favorite

By Lennie Mcfish - 28/8/2018 01:30

Today, I confessed my love to my crush over text. Later, she posted the message I'd sent her on Facebook and wrote "look at the pathetic man". The post had over 50 laugh reacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3431

You deserved it

473

Favorite

By julieriis - 23/12/2015 18:03 - Denmark - Hals

Today, I was in a car accident, two days before Christmas. I'm now laying at home, not able to walk. My whole family thinks that I'm joking. A car drove over my foot, I'm not joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21981

You deserved it

1762

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By SystemofaBlink41 | 27

#6437143 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:36

*Boss turns around, lifts up pants and nods*

"Ass you were."

By DBudders | 15

#6437142 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:36

The real question is, did he see that you saw him?

COMMENTS

By idefka | 33

#6437141 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:35

First comment.

By DBudders | 15

#6437142 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:36

The real question is, did he see that you saw him?

ohSNAPyall | 26

#6438124 - Sunday 18 October 2015 4:58

You'll know he saw if he sends you a memo about your TP report.

By SystemofaBlink41 | 27

#6437143 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:36

*Boss turns around, lifts up pants and nods*

"Ass you were."

By ionab101 | 21

#6437146 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Sounds like urine a difficult position

allforfun | 23

#6437211 - Saturday 17 October 2015 2:38

Bahahahhaa

By juicy_extasy | 25

#6437154 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:39

That's an image I wish I could unsee. FYL OP

areid2000 | 13

#6437293 - Saturday 17 October 2015 4:45

Imagine how bad it was for OP

Lalala579121 | 27

#6437627 - Saturday 17 October 2015 16:35

You wish you could unsee the image of text on a page?

By SecundusSecunda | 27

#6437155 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:39

The real question is, did you walk back out or did you start peeing next to him, OP?

juturnaamo | 29

#6437548 - Saturday 17 October 2015 15:05

He took the urinal directly next to him, and dropped his pants, too.

By NotGabe | 28

#6437163 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:42

*takes picture*

"I'd like a raise, please. :D"

ciammmm | 11

#6437547 - Saturday 17 October 2015 15:03

Yeah that is probably blackmail and sexual harassment. hahahahaha.

By Ladisa | 28

#6437168 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:48

Since he's already exposed like that, pee on him to show dominance.

FuckThisLogin | 31

#6437174 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:55

Gotta get his scent first though ?

By dakotaabriannee | 14

#6437169 - Saturday 17 October 2015 1:49

There's some things you wish you could just un-see. Sorry OP.

By redhead_sprhro | 10

#6437209 - Saturday 17 October 2015 2:37

Gotta slap that ass and say good work today!

umreally | 3

#6437351 - Saturday 17 October 2015 6:50

Bahahahaa!!