Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Eliseopwns 22
Teenage fads... Not your fault. A good laugh for her future self, you know?
tjv3 10
Well you started going wrong when you allowed a cardboard cut out of Edward Cullen into your house
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
BlissfulLiss 18
It's not you, it's society. No matter how well you parent your child there will always be the allure of social conformity. That's what's in so that's what she likes, she'll get over it...hopefully.
Pwn17 25
She may need a cullenoscopy.
twinkiefeets 17
Maybe it was Edward related and way too stupid to say to a real person.
cottoncandymango 17
It's okay. We all have fallen in love with a fictional character. She's just in the Twilight zone.
Enslaved 38
"Help I'm stepping into the twilight zone Place is a madhouse feels like being cloned"
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Atleast she chose a good actor OP.
Confruzzled 10
When you bought and/or let her keep an Edward Cullen cutout.
LennyComa 39
I hope your Daughter is under the age of 12...otherwise tell her to grow the **** up.
mr_sarcastic416 29
what's wrong is, she wishes the cut out were real..... before you walked in she said "why couldn't you be real Edward, so that I could have you here with me"
epicRawrz 16
You went wrong when you let her have a Edward Cullen cardboard cut out
nikolkaw 9
You skin doesn't sparkle in the sunlight duh. You're not incredibly fast and strong... Sheesh.
OnlyTheDarkest 17
And, "incredibly cute" according to my younger sister.