Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
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Top comments
Eliseopwns 22
Teenage fads... Not your fault. A good laugh for her future self, you know?
tjv3 10
Well you started going wrong when you allowed a cardboard cut out of Edward Cullen into your house
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Comments (98)
an3ph 20
STILL a better love story than Twilight. Will the insanity never end?
starsfan326 12
Video tape it next time and keep it
thisawkwardchick 15
Chronically constipated...lmao
kalbrek009 20
Um, maybe the fact that you let her have anything to do with said fictional character?....if you look @ the books you will see that they are intended for "adult" audiences & NOT teens & children, while the movies took away a lot of the actual story line, it was the still the intention (of the movie makers & box office) to make $ off of the children & parents who let their kids go to see them....so sad.
iwadasn 33
I don't like Twilight either, but they're not adult books. Go in any bookstore or library; they're in the "young adult" section, which is typically geared toward ages 13-18. I agree little kids shouldn't be reading them, but the FML doesn't even say how old OP's daughter is. She's probably a teenager.
Rumbelle_fml 22
Are you high? Twilight, regardless of personal opinions, is teen fiction. It's written about teenagers, for teenagers, marketed towards teenagers... There's nothing "adult" about it. Are you sure you're not confusing it with 50 Shades of Gay (whoops ofc I mean Grey)?
amifaiyaz 12
This is a memory you'll laugh at later with her, don't worry.
Zlinder666 12
You let her watch twilight
JoseIsAdork 31
his heart is dark and cold as stone, he truly gets this teenage generation ×_×
amadisdemitrius 5
you let her watch twighlight
AkiChan_fml 7
You didn't. She just needed someone who CAN'T judge her(not saying you would). Don't take it personally
Byere 4
You let her watch/read Twilight...