Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
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Top comments
Eliseopwns 22
Teenage fads... Not your fault. A good laugh for her future self, you know?
tjv3 10
Well you started going wrong when you allowed a cardboard cut out of Edward Cullen into your house
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Comments (98)
sweetlilly1812 6
She is a hormonal teen, cut her some slack..lol
Sal_G_63 5
I'm pretty sure you went wrong by letting her watch/read Twilight, a story where pedophilia, necrophilia, **********, and stalking are considered romantic and ok
Damned_Architect 25
This reminds me of my sister who in her awkward tween years used to confide her deepest thoughts to her Johnny Depp poster from "21 Jump Street"! Young girls speaking to paper images of strange (yet good looking) young men isn't that rare; It's kinda kooky, but an otherwise harmless way of venting. Besides OP, you probably don't want to know your daughters' angst anyway.
jw90 18
I think maybe it's time to take the cut-out away from her. Hopefully that'll give her incentive to talk to you. Good luck OP.
GhostChickens 17
Why does she even have a cardboard cut-out? There are only a small number of people in the world that can own a cardboard cut-out without being creepy - an emotionally compromised teenage girl is not one of them.
simsgirlgem 25
And that's why we make sure girls read something besides twilight
smileyduckie30 1
you bought her the cutout as a starter.
The_Mr_Troll 14
When you let her watch Twilight. Kidding aside, I'm sure it's just a phase and she'll realize how silly she was acting. Don't stress over it, OP.
daboar 5
glad to know i'm not the only one who think Edward Cullen look constipated
cryspark 6
When you got her the cut out.