Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Add a comment
Top comments
COMMENTS
By
FellowYellow
| 10
At least your daughter isn't attempting to suck all the oxygen out of the room so you don't have any left XD
But in all seriousness OP you should lock the doors before you sleep, sweet dreams!
But in all seriousness OP you should lock the doors before you sleep, sweet dreams!
Reply
colton_colton
| 49
I would lock and barricade the doors...just to be safe
Reply
littlem91
| 29
Considering the kids FMLs on here, I'm not sure why anyone reproduces. Seems all children are evil.
Reply
kjack49044
| 18
No, it's just that no good kids have any reason to end up in thus site.
Reply
beerlaoisawesome
| 10
I don't suppose your daughter's name is Chucky?
Reply
claiiire_fml
| 17
Chucky is a boy's name. So, no, your guess is incorrect.
By
onealmxwilson
| 18
How scary this is depends on the age of said daughter.
Reply
colton_colton
| 49
Let's hope she's younger so she doesn't ever actually go through and try something..
Reply
niallo
| 23
Unless she is younger then 4, I'd be concerned. I don't know how many times I've read of kids killing their parents. That being said, strap her down at night (and lock your door, just in case). If she whines, tell her not to say that shit.
Reply
Sports_guy3
| 28
Really? "Shit"?! What the hell are you thinking? Yeah, we'd all teach our children bad language.
Reply
VampOfSavannah
| 31
63, take a chill pill.
Reply
Octwo
| 16
66, 63 was being sarcastic.
Reply
BoltTheSuperdog
| 22
Anyone else reminded of "Orphan" right now?
Reply
pinkster2014
| 25
#68, I like your profile pic haha. I saw that episode of Cyanide and Happiness, butt cancer lol
And to OP, you should put your daughter to sleep in her room, lock her door (if it locks) and then hurry to your room to lock yourself in. If something goes wrong call for help xD Good luck with that OP
And to OP, you should put your daughter to sleep in her room, lock her door (if it locks) and then hurry to your room to lock yourself in. If something goes wrong call for help xD Good luck with that OP
By
Tyler10ftw
| 4
Lock your bedroom door!
Reply
reneetlovesyou
| 30
Lock EVERY door so she doesn't try to cut someone else's head off after she can't get to OP!
Reply
wellthen7154
| 12
Screw locking doors, find out what sharp objects she has access to! It sounds like she's not very old, and if you have small children with knives you're gonna have a bad time.
Reply
RpiesSPIES
| 27
But what if she catches him as he uses his ladder to climb inside each room in order to lock them?
By
CatchMe25
| 16
Hmmm maybe keep her away from sharp objects until you can convince her it's wrong
Reply
Ermony
| 3
Convinse her...LOL yeah my mom convimced me when when I eas you by "talking" calmy while cursing. Snd stroking my body with a leather belt, shoe, fence, wire practically she stroked me with everything in our house by 18
By
abhi95
| 31
Tell her her ass is on the road if by any chance you survive!
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
Because that won't motivate her to like, make sure the job gets done...
Reply
abhi95
| 31
That's one way to look at it. Come to think of it.. She must already have a means to get by without her mom if she's planning on terminating her.. Well.. Guess I didn't think that one through!
By
JustinKirby
| 20
Punish her?
Reply
TAHK
| 11
I don't know why this is getting thumbed down. She needs to know that it isn't ok to say that to anyone. My mom slapped the fuck out of me for less.
Reply
Shadowsofthedead
| 10
Because punishing a likely young child for saying nonsensical things, like young children tend to do, is totally the right thing to do.
Reply
Redoxx_fml
| 22
She obviously didn't really mean it. Kids just say the darnest things...
Reply
Soloman212
| 28
The point of disciplining a child isn't to judge them as evil, it's to let them know what's wrong and right. So yes, you should ESPECIALLY do it if they don't know what they're doing, to teach them that it's wrong.
By
UberNova
| 18
This is why humans need a reset button. "Ah shit, I fucked this one up too, i'll just reset her and try again."
Reply
Welshite
| 39
They're called belly buttons. Unfortunately, half the time they're broken.
Reply
Catahoulaqueen_fml
| 17
Have you heard of lobotomy? lol
Reply
littlekellilee
| 45
I refuse to have a child until I can get a tamagotchi through a life cycle without killing it or resetting it. Fifteen years and still no dice.
Reply
sunshine41196
| 12
#20 right on! lobotomy is the solution to this! XD
By
mcr2000
| 11
at least she isnt wacing her hand in your face trying to steal your oxygen.
Reply
Clay_Pidgeon
| 11
didn't #1 already make this reference...
Reply
andrewturtle
| 16
I know right, the idea of 'wacing' is terrifying!
By
4XD54
| 2
I recommend sleeping with you door locked for the rest of the night.
By
Fr0gs
| 15
Well we know she didnt learn it from you, right?
But in all seriousness OP you should lock the doors before you sleep, sweet dreams!