Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
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Top comments
Eliseopwns 22
Teenage fads... Not your fault. A good laugh for her future self, you know?
tjv3 10
Well you started going wrong when you allowed a cardboard cut out of Edward Cullen into your house
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Comments (98)
RensM 22
you did nothing wrong that is just kids being kits.
Joseph980000 6
Daughters these days -.- seriously don't they realize if anything Jacob at least looks good shirtless..
CeeCee_fml 16
...Twilight is still a "thing?"
MrsDruidess 23
When you decided to judge her and then post it on fml so the rest of the world could judge her, thats where you went wrong. Before that seems fairly normal for a teen girl.
FranzFerdinand 18
Agreed completely. Look, we all know that Twilight is utter shit, but why the hell is everyone so mad at a teenaged girl for liking it? It's stupid, yes, but does it really add much to the story? It's clearly a girl who is confiding in an object that won't talk back or judge (just like someone else might confide in a stuffed animal or a pet), possibly because she feels her mom won't be so understanding. And hey, guess what? When her mom saw her doing that, she proceeded to log on to FML and judge her on her interest in Twilight, suggesting that she "went wrong" somewhere with her kid. That's not the type of person I'd want to confide in, I don't know about you. What if your parents judged you for liking Harry Potter or something you liked? Even though Twilight isn't at the same level as HP it's the same principle, and most of you are being really irrationally rude about a teenage girl being interested in something you are not interested in.
AshleyScruggs 14
63- Teddy bears are cute, fuzzy and made to be hugged. Cardboard cutouts are creepy and not huggable at all.
dnavar0 4
Um your daughter is how old and you are asking where YOU went wrong. As any parent of a female knows they get googly eyed over boy bands and actors.
Binglebeee 16
Every generation has a daft fad like this. I feel bad for you though that your daughter feels she can only relate to a fictional character. It's not your fault, it's Stephanie Meyer's
cmac86 24
do you remember Hansen? I barely do as well. this will pass, just like they did.
kiwi817 4
Um.. as a Hanson fan, I'd like to say that 16 years later, Hanson's still around and making amazing music! Don't believe me? Check out their NEW album ANTHEM... I can guarantee you won't regret it!
princesshifi 8
Just saying, as a teen (I'm assuming she's also a teen) you confide with everything except your parents. If she chooses to confide with Edward Cullen it's exactly the same thing as confiding with a teddy bear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Though it is kinda wrong that you choose to judge her for what she's interested in. Liking Twilight is no big deal, especially considering that she could drink and do drugs instead. Just wait till she calms down and then ask her, she'll probably feel a little more open :)
Shandra78 9
Remember Louis and Lestat? Same crap different generation. She'll grow out of it. Personally, I think Pattison's face looks like a foot with hair sticking out of the toes...
monnanon 14
how dare you!!!! lol seriously though the vampire chronicles were well written and the characters had substance. cant say i ever cried into a lifrsize cut out of armand or yelled and threatened to kill people who didnt like the series.