Intimacy: Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout... - FML

By Dooh - 17/01/2012 23:12 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 094

You deserved it 5 017

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Same thing different taste

Jaded

By not as jacked - 30/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 122

Health kick

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 00:01

Spicy

Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 185

By anonymous - 24/06/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 695

You deserved it 5 218

Turntables

By Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Spicy

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 09:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 4 650

Leg day

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 02:06

Today, after waiting a year, I asked a coworker who I like to work out at the gym with me. She said yes. I figured this would be the perfect place to show off my body and impress her. In every exercise we did, she lifted more weights than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 2 754

By Nowajerk - 25/12/2011 01:15 - Australia

Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 634

You deserved it 17 641

By mattttbob - 04/02/2012 10:16 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 514

You deserved it 36 010

Side effects

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 23:01 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I’ve been horny for weeks on end. Because I’m on antidepressants, I can’t orgasm, so the horniness won’t go away. The only thing I do is go to the gym, where literally EVERYONE seems fuckable. While I’m not depressed anymore, my vagina is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 174

Work it!

By Anonymous - 21/08/2023 22:00 - Germany

Spicy

Today, my man said, "If you get more sore from your workouts than from having sex with me, I’m gonna cry!" Uhm… I do serious weight training, and in bed we both enjoy the missionary position, so… sorry for your ego, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 145

Next

Top comments

AmyPacheco 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:44

Well I hope you stay loyal

UsEumYong 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:47

Ohhhh Shes in for a nice visit ;)

Comments

CptObvious98 8

Monday 4 November 2013 0:54

I feel your pain op! I workout and I'm always horny.

NobodyGay 16

Thursday 17 July 2014 5:34

One night in Chyna can help you solve that problem.

Azrty_fml 0

Saturday 3 January 2015 20:26

Just wank

cdncw 20

Thursday 21 May 2015 16:29

Organize her some physical therapy - She's gonna need it the day after you finally see her...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 219

You deserved it 6 067

Today, after my daughter had a cast on her broken leg for 14 weeks, she got it removed this morning. She was bawling her eyes out because she never realised her leg hair would keep growing under the plaster; 14 weeks worth of growth. She didn’t cry this much back when she broke the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 73

The Top

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 424

You deserved it 3 080

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 121

You deserved it 6 749

Today, I was chilling with my best friend and suddenly I got a text from my ex saying he wanted me back. My best friend saw the text and said, "Don't go back with him, you deserve better." I wanted to go back with him but I didn't. Later, I saw them hanging out and turns out they're dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 131

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 265

You deserved it 3 815

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 853

You deserved it 5 290

Today, my boss called me a liar and untrustworthy. Why? Yesterday I went home to grieve, after finding out my father figure is in hospice, but because he's just in hospice and not actually dead yet, that somehow means I lied about his death to get a day off work. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 176