Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
Today, after waiting a year, I asked a coworker who I like to work out at the gym with me. She said yes. I figured this would be the perfect place to show off my body and impress her. In every exercise we did, she lifted more weights than I did. FML
Today, I found my girlfriend in bed with her gym trainer. They said they were doing cardio. FML
Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, I’ve been horny for weeks on end. Because I’m on antidepressants, I can’t orgasm, so the horniness won’t go away. The only thing I do is go to the gym, where literally EVERYONE seems fuckable. While I’m not depressed anymore, my vagina is. FML
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Top comments
AmyPacheco 0
Well I hope you stay loyal
UsEumYong 4
Ohhhh Shes in for a nice visit ;)
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Comments (137)
cuddlebunny3548 11
Cheat.
hobojo69 23
That's great and all but dude if you don't see her for a year or whatever you might not be that great at sex and she might leave you for that, hey long distance relationships are hard and I think it's great that you really are trying at it, but she might not be as loyal as you, so if you really love this girl keep at it an hope for the best. Anyway good luck I'm rooting for you!
pao0720 7
Just think of how good it's gonna feel when you have sex with her after being horny for so long!! It'll be mind-blowing!
ikoihil 4
It's "regimen," not "regime."
karmaisabiotch 4
Wow I have the same problem. Finally I can personally relate to one of these fmls
really52 0
I feel your pain...
xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7
When in doubt rub it out ;)
FMLoverAgain 7
You can do me in the mean time
charmanderCHAR 5
**** much?
Daftendirekt1 0
Oh you'll impress her all right ;)
Levvy 22
Maybe you shouldn't be trying to rule over your exercise. What? That's not what you meant? Then maybe you should learn the meanings of words before you use them.
ashleeyka 13
Pretty sure that was supposed to be regimen. Calm down.