By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
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  Jowisee  |  29

I wouldn't ignore her, this is a sign of serious trust issues and perhaps some other mental health problems. Has she been cheated on in the past, or abused by a previous partner?

By  holyglamgrenade  |  16

There are actually a lot of studies to support her logic. It may not necessarily be that she is neurotic, so much as it is the media making people insecure about their significant others.

  lala150  |  24

Agreed, and OP's attitude probably isn't helping her insecurities (calling her a neurotic wreck gives me the impression that he's a little disrespectful rather than trying to help her through her insecurities).

  rileyrae0000  |  23

Yeah I agree with you. I understand the wife's suspicion but that also doesn't mean she is justified in being completely neurotic about it. It really depends on how the marriage is doing apart from this situation.

  theaaxis  |  27

Exactly! How can you expect her to trust you when here you are using viciously critical vocabulary to describe her! I have an anxiety disorder (considering how common her views are, I doubt she does as well pending further evidence) and if my partner ever used words like that I would feel very deeply hurt. What a horrible way to speak about the woman you vowed to love for life.

  plan_Z  |  14

We have no idea what she is like normally in a day to day manner. For all we know she smells his dirty laundry for perfume or regularly demands his phone to make sure he's only contacting women she approves of (family and her, female friends are all whores trying to sleep with him.).

  SolarLunix  |  21

Still, as other comments have said, she could have an anxiety disorder. If my husband started to work out I'd be crazy anxious too. And if she does smell his clothing or look for lipstick there could be a good reason. She could've been cheated on in the past. As for the phone, if you wouldn't let your wife or husband see your phone and messages, there is A LOT of reason to worry. My husband and I put the same password for all our devices so that if the other is feeling insecure we can just go check.

  SneezyBear  |  27

#35 I'm sorry guys but people are perfectly allowed to have their boundaries. My fiance is a bit insecure due to having been cheated on in the past, and so I am much more patient with him than I would be with other guys. Even still, I've made it very clear he is NOT ever allowed to accuse me of cheating. I am an open book with him, and that is saying a LOT for me because I am normally indigant about my right to privacy and trust, and in return I expect him to grant me enough respect not to accuse me of anything. He is allowed to ask the most ludicrous questions, I will work through his insecurities with him, and if he is outright uncomfortable with any guy friend I have or any situation I am in I will listen to him and do whatever I can within reason to make him feel better but he must never accuse, or I WILL flare with righteous indignation.

It's incredibly hypocritical to ask OP to put up with his wife's flaws while flaming OP for responding thus. For all we know 'neurotic wreck' is mild compared to what the wife said.


There are a lot, huh? That's awesome. So, can you point to 10 that show people who elect to improve their physical conditioning are doing so for purposes of infidelity? Peer reviewed journals only, please. Your issues of Cosmo and InTouch Weekly don't count.

  ballislife2324  |  14

I agree with op. This fml and the way u people are responding is a total gender role. The wife is sad so she needs to be talked to but if a guy did what op's wife did then Everyone would be screaming dump him, he is controlling. That's so one way thinking. Listen this is how it works if op's wife can't handle him going to the gym then she should get out cuz going to the gym isn't even that big of a deal

  ChopSuey444  |  20

I think his wife should work out with him if possible. Spending that time with him would put her insecurities at ease and probably strengthen their relationship as a whole.
I don't agree with him calling her a neurotic wreck, no matter what the case is. Just like when people post here about their children and call them "idiots". I'm sorry but there are some people you just shouldn't insult even in private.

  itooamscrewed  |  10

My advice would be the same. My fiancé gets into cycles of insecurity where he accuses me of cheatingor wanting to and we talk about it. I ask why he would think something like that and it's always because he's feeling down about himself. We talk through it and that's what OP should do.

By  PANDORUM89  |  21

well did you just start to work out, out of the blue? have a discussion with her because honestly that IS a sign that an affair could be happening. She's not neurotic because of this, maybe in other areas...