Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML
Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML
Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML
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Top comments
Valentine11_fml 25
I have 0 love for spiders, but setting a living creature on fire? That's really cruel. YDI
Crowned Sataness 12
catch and release. you set a living animal on fire. the **** is wrong with you?!
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Comments (5)
Valentine11_fml 25
I have 0 love for spiders, but setting a living creature on fire? That's really cruel. YDI
Inkoseh 33
Yeah fire is quite cruel. Alternatives is to set out side to freeze to death. Flush so they drown, or stomp and hope the first smash killed them. I mean, aren't they all quite cruel?
Marcella1016 32
Burning to death is generally considered particularly agonizing, though. Would you rather be murdered by someone quickly, or tortured to death in excruciating agony?
Inkoseh 33
Well to be technical, if what was done to me was comparative in SIZE to me as it was the spider; I wouldn't exactly know if the bottom half of my body being smashed (half squished option), slowly freezing to death with frost bite, or under a minute of pain before I couldn't breathe anymore from an extremely large amount of fire would hurt the most. Of course they all hurt, but what pain could you tolerate or what pain would you want? One that hurts more for less time or hurts less for longer? All are still cruel in their own way, I really don't care about the downvotes..
Inkoseh 33
Use Listerine next time. No fire, they die!
Crowned Sataness 12
catch and release. you set a living animal on fire. the **** is wrong with you?!
Chazzster 32
Sounds like an excuse to play with fire - Which worked out about as well as you would expect.
Brightside86 31
2 easy ways of dealing with spiders. 1) Sonic plug-in pest repellent works really well. 2) Hair spray works to hold them in place so you can smash. -Though if they aren't a dangerous type maybe just leave them alone.