Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
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Top comments
KittyMcSunshine 0
it probably means "kiss my ass"
reecescuphoe 0
fyl for not having a sense of humor
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Comments (169)
Attrox 0
I think he likes it in the ass. You might consider getting a sex change.
derschadenfreude 5
yikes, 25, that seems a little drastic when she can just buy a nice strap-on ***** for a fraction of the cost. Nothing you're doing wrong, OP, everyone likes a little anal pleasure every now and again ;)
dwindling81 0
ha she could just fist him.cheaper
BlackDragoness 0
Maybe you should ask? i could see mine doing that as a joke.
painthatimuseto 0
That doesn't make sense but I guess it shows the immaturity of some guys.
HookEmTexas07 0
Be sure not to fall off that high horse of yours while parading around.
CallMeHush 1
Are you sure he didn't say "kiss it baby" at the same time?
tangy88 0
This is not an FML... but it sure did made me laugh. I would be laughing if my boyfriend did that to me.
jonny2x4 0
I think it's time to go to your local sex shop and pick up a strap-on. I think he wants to take this relationship to another level.
BlueberryPies 0
First of all, this is NOT a true FML. Second, you deserve it for having such a poor grasp of proper grammar.
neuroticallyours 0
Poor grasp of proper grammar? I would really like to know where seeing as I checked my entry before submitting it, and I'm a stickler for bad grammar. Nice to see that you spelled grammar with an "a" instead of an "e" like most half-wits though. Kudos!
everydayisFML 0
any amusement i found from your post has completely diminished after realizing what a total douchebag you are. who the hell actually monitors the comment feed on their own entry and responds??!
haj_fml 4
LOL
AntiChrist7 0
So you're happy with an infantile idiot? You two deserve each other
jmartinezstudios 0
can we say dip wad ?? and he's taking you for granted?