Love: Fart are funny, period

Fart are funny, period

By amg85904 - 30/01/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 893

You deserved it 6 587

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

This is happening

By mikmak - 20/12/2015 13:26 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 562

You deserved it 3 121

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 876

You deserved it 11 301

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 547

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 14:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 3 063

By girlllll - 01/06/2010 12:31 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 318

You deserved it 5 799

Old habits die hard

By atsukobo - 10/03/2012 06:04 - United States

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 665

You deserved it 4 830

By and the truth comes out - 22/07/2014 08:44 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 951

You deserved it 7 631

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 319

By Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 247

You deserved it 19 303

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 527

You deserved it 9 405

Drew_D 0

Tuesday 3 February 2009 16:24

I just laughed so hard I farted.

alwaysalady 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 20:24

My husband farted so bad last night, he woke our baby and the baby cried.

Comments

Drew_D 0

Tuesday 3 February 2009 16:24

I just laughed so hard I farted.

fmylife1133249 1

Thursday 18 February 2010 6:18

win ^

grobo555 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 11:43

hahahahahahaha

that_girl 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 0:15

my boyfriend does the same thing if i burp.

effit 0

Monday 9 February 2009 9:36

hahahah thats beautiful. Ive done that too... oh god, it's great everytime.

Tikal_fml 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 1:42

That's guys for you, farting is like a competition or game for us.

lemonkid44 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 5:06

haha i don't mind when my girlfriend farts. who cares?

Haelous 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 15:45

Fail for not doing a dutch oven. Really though, meh. It's just a fart. Who cares?

alwaysalady 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 20:24

My husband farted so bad last night, he woke our baby and the baby cried.

_miss_anonymous_ 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 7:14

my goodness that's hilarious, alwaysalady! nice name by the way...

lalalala_fml 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 1:25

hahahahhaah i just laughed so hard at 25

BalsaTouching 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:28

25 is MASSIVE win ... and OP, farting is not a big deal. At least, it's not to anybody worth sleeping with.

necomni 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 6:47

That's actually very cute.

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The Top

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 76

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 269

The Top

Today, I had to go hands-on at work, while choking on mace, with a man who was mentally disturbed. It could have been avoided, if my supervisor had been less concerned with asserting dominance, and instead let the guy get a grip on the situation. Great use of my college degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 87

Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one ringing me from down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 40 074

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 318

You deserved it 2 849

Today, I've had more crushes on fictional characters than actual people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 401

You deserved it 2 589

Today, I was serving a rude and obnoxious couple at a restaurant. They made outrageous demands, then they got up and snuck out while I wasn’t looking. They were kind enough to leave a “tip” on the receipt they hadn’t paid for, saying, “Maybe if you lost weight you’d be fast enough to catch us!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 107

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 502

You deserved it 3 368