Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML
Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
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Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!
EddiE_CN 8
Don't visit him when you are on leave
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Comments (216)
cinderchan 2
do or die, semper fi
Grover217 0
Hoorah!
samanthamj10 0
That's oohrah... Get it right.
zombicidal 11
OP said military that's every branch the dad said army
jackassiddy 8
actually.. its Hooha.. the acronym HUA means Heard Understood and Acknowledged.. in response to an order/morale booster..
iconoclasm101 0
Not in the Corp it isn't, stop google smashing and get a life.
rexgar2000 10
Damn it people. in the army is hooah! ok? I'm dnt commenting now.
OldBurnss 2
Semper Fi is the Marine Crops motto.
TylerOMFG 7
Wow, prove him wrong and thank you for your service if they do. Good luck :)
PYLrulz 17
If your dad never served a day in his life, I'd say advising him to shut the hell up would be ok.
Mister_Triangle 21
Sounds like a challenge
BroDoc334 2
I'm proud to serve in the US Army Hooah! Don't let people tell you that you can't but don't blindly follow your heart either as the heart can be deceived. Seek Truth, God will show you the Way, but don't believe people or let them put you down.
Airman1988 9
Tell him you are what you eat.
Airman1988 9
and than tell him he's a dick
Wheredidgrungego 12
You don't necessarily have to be infantry. There are plenty of people behind the front lines who do other things. If you're smart enough, you could fly those unmanned planes or something. Anyway, just be happy we're out of Iraq now and you're not joining during a time of war!
Airman1988 9
Yea cause it's not like we aren't in Afghanistan now....
rexgar2000 10
we're still in a time of war, Afghanistan is still going on.
bigboi626 0
We're still in Afghanistan, soldiers were deployed in Africa, and we'll be going to Iran soon. Sorry, still war time
THE_A_TEEN 28
I thought parents were supposed to care about their kids, not outright call them a pussy in front of their face. Assholes... Try to prove him wrong, and once there is another war and you come back a changed man, he'll see the man you are. USA!!!
deadman93 8
its not hard. if you want to do it, do it. you may fail but at least you can say you tried man.
klorehore 24
this is a perfect opportunity to prove him wrong, I think you should go for it! Good luck!