Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML
Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
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Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!
EddiE_CN 8
Don't visit him when you are on leave
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Comments (216)
every1luvsboners 11
Those are the same reverse psychology techniques the US military use today to lure teens into signing their lives away. Coincidence? I think not. He's probably on the payroll.
squidmmn 0
You need to make your own choice in life, military service is for everyone who wants a good start in life.
cullin69 5
That sucks, join up anyway if that is what you want and prove him wrong.
likasumboooodi 0
join the military and then come and be like bitch what!
fangz_fml 6
Ooraah Marines!!
aFreedom127 9
Stand up to him you pussy, it's your first test to be a soldier.
roswelluga 4
or you could get a real job and not drag down the economy
THE_A_TEEN 28
...Or you can shut up, you damn occupy protester...
roswelluga 4
Thanks but I actually have a good job so I'm not part of the occupy movement. The military is ruining this country.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Did I just ******* read that? "the military is ruining this country? At least they protect the freedom to say that you prick.
Airman1988 9
Wow this comment is wrong on so many levels, next time you enjoy your freedom of speech or plenty of other rights a piece of trash like you doesn't deserve, you can think all those "worthless" people who serve. What a tasteless and ignorant comment.
roswelluga 4
Who is attacking us? Nobody. When someone does then I will support the military
rezelle 0
As long as you're not overweight and have no health problems they will take you. Good luck.
redmnky21 8
screw him research which branch would work for u meet with a recruiter and go kick ASS!!!
ErinBeam 1
Actually the army is full of *******. It's the marines who are the real shit! ;) The few. The proud!
bigboi626 0
Every branch serves the country. So every branch is bad ass.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
dumbass *****