Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML
Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
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Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!
EddiE_CN 8
Don't visit him when you are on leave
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Comments (216)
newlove_fml 0
That's unfortunate. Well, now you have another reason to join: proving him wrong.
prozacdemonbitch 0
Take that a motivation to prove his ass wring and make the best of it and tell him to shove it up his ass
Joey44 15
Wow. Your dad's an asshole.
Kelita 0
His dad knows him better than we do so he is saying it for a reason.
Airman1988 9
If you want to go for the education&technological benefits go Air Force, if you want to become a battle hardened bad ass go Marines, if you like the water go Navy or Coast Guard, if none of the others will take you, there's always the Army! lol :)
Awahso 25
Semper Paratus!
noncom 12
#81 That is actually latin for " Always Prepared". Learn your Latin Phrases.
bocshi83 1
HOOAH!!!!
TheNewGuy03 29
155 -- I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but "Semper Paratus" is the Coast Guard's motto. |the kid|
USMC1992 0
Glad I joined the marines
Steve95401 49
Thank you for serving our country.
stevenmx86 8
Ydi for being a pussy..
jaccq 2
at least you wont cry if your mum sold away your star wars collection!
van_helsing 6
Don't ask others for acceptance or permission. Don't ask what they think. It's your choice. Just go to the recruiter and sign up. Of course, don't sign up to the military just because you want to prove something to others.
JAMiiEC14 5
JOIN!!! im medicaly unfit but ive always wanted to join and im going to try even thought they take one look at my criminal and medical record and they will say no
causticgirl 6
If its what you really want to do with your life, take that negativity and make it work for you. The military can make any boy a man