Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML
Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
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Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!
EddiE_CN 8
Don't visit him when you are on leave
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Comments (216)
zebra44 0
Army is downsizing 8% starting in March next year, I'd go Air Force.
TheNewGuy03 29
I agree. However, the Air Force is also getting a bit more stringent on who they decide to admit. Even though I'm former Army, I'd still say join the AF (or the Navy, if you can't get into the Air Force). |the kid|
upyourzlolz 11
Hey. Maybe OPs dad is just protective and doesn't want OP on the field, and doesn't know how to express it. Yeah, or he's an ass.
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
Well if you are, being in the army would clear that right up. :) be strong, army strong!
mitchestate 6
Clown collage it is then
TheNewGuy03 29
So there's gonna be this exuberant mix of clowns from all over the place! Sweetness! |the kid|
docscientist 10
You have an interesting hobby and method in dealing with coming of age issues, 33.
xAmyPOPx 4
lol @dads :) Join the marines, come back, kick his ass. Problem solved.
luna4545 4
Don't worry the army pretty much takes everybody
SeldomHappy 3
Ha, you made me laugh. So you agree, he is a pussy. At least they accept everyone.
juturnaamo 29
Well, we don't know if he's a pussy, but I agree, they will take anybody. As long as you're not fat or a druggie, you're in. Then you have 9 weeks to not be a pussy.
samanthamj10 0
The Army is for *******. Join the Marine Corps! Oohrah!!!
docscientist 10
They are also both there to protect our freedoms to say shit like this.
smoke_eater05 0
YUT!
ZielZone 4
ROFL.... That's funny
kshafer08 7
Join the marines. It's cooler
angrynegro7 16
Your dad's a dick for saying that. Look at it this way, OP; half of the people that make up our armed forces probably were ******* when they first joined, and the military toughened them up and turned them into the killing machines they are today. The fact that you're considering joining means that you're ready to man the **** up and do what needs to be done. Kudos to you and good luck.