Today, my wife found out when I’m super busy with work and can’t be bothered to walk upstairs for a pee, I just pee into a bottle and empty it out the window onto the grass. I get it’s sorta gross but the way she was yelling you’d have think I took a shit on the drive in full view of the neighbours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML
Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
Today, work was so busy that when I went to take a shit, I had to force it and wipe hurriedly. Later, when I got home and hopped in the shower, my wife saw the skid mark in my underwear and lost her shit, calling me a disgusting disgraceful pig. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML
Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML
Today, I read on Facebook that someone shat outside our block of flats. I laughed and showed it to my friend who was with me. She turned to me, and said, "That was you, we were locked outside last night and you needed to pee, but a poo slipped out." FML
Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
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Top comments
idragosani 17
You're a moron
UniUni 20
No, not "sort of gross", it's disgusting. You're a grown man with a wife and you can't make it upstairs?
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Comments (13)
Hangryko 32
Oh my God, use the toilet! That is revolting.
UniUni 20
No, not "sort of gross", it's disgusting. You're a grown man with a wife and you can't make it upstairs?
idragosani 17
You're a moron
BurnInDemonFire 39
You can't make it one floor? Buddy, I'm super busy with work too, and I have to go up four floors every time I need a piss.
Underscore_foo 5
That is so unhinged. Please don’t palm off your lack of hygiene as your wife being “problematic”. Please use the toilet. This is incredibly unattractive and says you can’t take care of yourself.
tiptoppc 21
Let me guess, you could be a showrunner on “my 600lbs life.” I bet you have a large fluffy cap and a moomoo for when you go out to see a movie and get turned away after promised a garbage bag of popcorn to leave.
tiptoppc 21
And for what it’s worth, I walk with a cane and still go between floors just to pee in the only toilet for the house. You are a disgrace
rpy13 13
You’re a disgusting pig, that is disgraceful!! You are an abhorrent jerk.
core01 30
Get a camp toilet or plumb a toilet downstairs.
easybree 10
your wife has every right to be revolted.