Miscellaneous: Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke...

By Justaddwater - 09/01/2010 17:45 - France

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 473

You deserved it 3 234

Miscellaneous

Our house, in the middle of our street

Sorry…

Movie night

By wrongcar - 03/11/2009 18:00 - United States

Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 214

You deserved it 2 505

8 out of 10 orthopedists

By Anonymous - 15/05/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, I had a talk with my orthopedist about getting back to fitness training. However, according to her, all my favorite exercises, although taught to me by professionals, are "things one should never do" and "very very bad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 83

By Anonymous - 22/12/2009 01:48 - United States

Today, my mom and I had to shovel our driveway after an epic snowstorm that left us with 22 inches of snow. We only needed to dig out my mom's car and not mine. After we did all that work and shoveled all the snow onto the side where my car was we found out my mom had a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 898

You deserved it 3 326

Hello, is me you're looking for?

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 07:24 - United Kingdom - Woodford Green

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 077

You deserved it 3 146

By kierstin - 19/10/2009 15:54 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 404

You deserved it 6 839

By kvdfan - 27/08/2012 12:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 177

You deserved it 3 480

By Anonymous - 11/04/2016 00:18 - Canada - Maple

Today, I found out that my best friend's psycho ex-girlfriend has been stalking me on social media for the past few months, when she contacted me asking why I was holding hands with him in a picture from over two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 305

You deserved it 1 340

By StaceZN - 22/12/2016 08:52

Today, on site, my client was certain she had switched off her electric fence prior to me conducting an inspection of her boundary retaining wall. I overbalanced on my ladder and grabbed at the fence wires for support. The electricity was not switched off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 810

You deserved it 903

Alarmed

By Anonymous - 22/02/2021 14:02

Today, my sister promised to wake me up at 8 for my 9:30 class. She woke me at noon, and only because I was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 900

By freckle82 - 12/05/2009 13:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 418

You deserved it 4 501

Heart = Broken

By Anonymous - 27/01/2018 19:00

Today, I got my lady bits waxed for my man with a little heart-shaped landing strip. Later, as he removed my panties, he crinkled his nose and stated, "It looks like Donald Trump." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 273

You deserved it 1 056

Mind control

By yeah uh huh - 23/11/2021 04:58 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my now ex genuinely thought I’d buy the idea that he hasn’t answered a call or text in five days because he thought the "government" was "tracking" him. When I refused to buy his excuse, he raged that I was a "trained sheep." He was actually shacked up with his married coworker at the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 72

By clumsy - 26/11/2015 05:35 - United States - Warrenton

Today, I realized why "Stay off the grass" signs were all over campus. I cut through the grass on my way to my next class and tripped over a sprinkler head, breaking it off and soaking myself in muddy water. I had to sit through a 4-hour lecture with wet, muddy clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 29 638

By muffinmen1022 - 20/02/2009 05:27 - United States

Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 354

You deserved it 11 796

By UnemployedGrad - 25/09/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 072

You deserved it 7 034

By LoveSick - 06/02/2019 04:00

Today, I'm getting married. I woke up with no voice to say my I dos with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 504

You deserved it 226

By rollerSWEETness - 03/06/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 761

You deserved it 15 790

All in a day's work!

By Joshtodon - 21/08/2018 22:00

Today, I was unloading tile boxes out of my pickup truck into this lady's garage. As I grabbed the last 50-pound box, a passing bird shat on my forehead. Green ooze ran down my whole face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 748

You deserved it 159

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 08/07/2020 17:00

Today, my marriage is one week away. Despite all the challenges we faced during COVID, we powered through everything. Today is also the day my work decided to tell me they're letting me go. I now have to either go on my improvised honeymoon or job hunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 110

By Noname - 10/03/2009 15:46 - United States

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 210

You deserved it 69 441

By Katie - 09/10/2012 05:42 - United States - Homewood

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 121

You deserved it 2 085

By SCREWED - 15/07/2011 06:25 - United States

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 744

You deserved it 3 878

Scammed

By FMLdude - 18/08/2013 23:23 - Australia - Bexley

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 196

You deserved it 4 960

By Whyme - 09/01/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 217

You deserved it 6 474

By Anonymous - 12/12/2011 01:16 - United States

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 467

You deserved it 3 427

By embarrassed - 31/01/2012 03:54 - United States

Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 443

You deserved it 5 347

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 934

You deserved it 5 543

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 5 380

Nature is healing

By screwthewilderness - 04/10/2010 06:46 - United States

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 994

You deserved it 3 633

By Anonymous - 26/04/2014 16:39 - United States

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 244

You deserved it 4 623

Counterstrike

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 05:40 - United States

Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 306

You deserved it 3 474

By newdad - 06/09/2010 23:21 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 716

You deserved it 5 981

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 636

You deserved it 615

It's the monstaaaaah

By Anonymous - 02/02/2021 21:30

Today, a 4 year-old saw me and started crying and screaming like heck. I mean, I knew that I didn't look good, but this is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 79

By Matt - 27/06/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 764

You deserved it 9 902

By anikah - 01/06/2014 21:53 - United States - Natchitoches

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 696

You deserved it 5 596

By T-Guy - 03/07/2011 03:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 253

You deserved it 50 745

By Anonymous - 15/07/2018 01:30

Today, I got a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see Hamilton. My friend kept complaining and asking very loudly why it was "just about that one guy". We got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 717

You deserved it 430

By Dumped - 06/04/2017 14:00

Today, at work, I went to place a small item on a shelf. The shelf fell on me, trapping my hand. While lifting it, the top shelf fell against my chest and the products all dumped on my face. I then realized the shelves were only held up by zip ties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 784

You deserved it 340

By InsaneIdiots - 07/06/2019 04:10

Today, after recovering from surgery, I was leaving the clinic when a bucket of red paint was thrown at me, and a woman shouted that I was a murderer. I replied, "Sorry, would you like me to ask the doctor for my ovarian cyst back so I can pretend it was a fetus?" She hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 921

You deserved it 170

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Top comments

Erindub 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:35

Maybe she could've used some supervision

wiimii 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:37

lmao i did that once :o

Erindub 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:35

Maybe she could've used some supervision

Ruetero 0

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Monday 11 January 2010 8:55

That girl is a moron, it's called "Easy Mac" not "Hard as Hell Mac"

In_your_face 0

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Thursday 11 February 2010 5:20

i didn't know it was possible to be that smrt (smart)

ryguy997 0

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Monday 15 March 2010 5:57

'she is so smart, s.m.r.t.

pedro_mclovin 0

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Tuesday 10 August 2010 7:37

yeaah...i did the same thing

writergirl23 19

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Sunday 5 August 2012 8:55

You guys dont know how old the little sister is. Think before you judge.

T9FTW 20

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Wednesday 31 October 2012 2:44

Don't try to justify it! The truth is: SHE DUM.

wiimii 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:37

lmao i did that once :o

gingersnapper 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:51

Me, too! Ah, my childhood....

ily1210 10

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:54

ya samee, oh man good times :P

TheTragicReturn 0

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Sunday 10 January 2010 0:33

Me too, like two years ago when I was 21 and in a hurry. IDI.

jloveee 0

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Sunday 10 January 2010 9:47

i have too..the kitchen was full of smoke and smelled awful!

luckycharm421 3

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Monday 26 April 2010 22:14

weird, my sister did tht as well, and you'd think 11 year olds would know better 

spoocks96 0

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Wednesday 15 June 2011 23:17

haha I did it too!

pechi_305 7

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Friday 26 October 2012 14:59

Lol I did that last year at my boyfriend's house but it was a ramen noodle cup soup. Oh so embarrassing :)

lemonslice 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:39

YDI. If she's obviously not old enough to know that, you should be supervising her making it. Thus taking control when you see she hasn't followed the instructions.

ryguy997 0

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Monday 15 March 2010 5:59

no, little sister could mean op is 20 and sister is 16. think people!!! DOH. DOY!!!!!

PrincessesCrown 17

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Thursday 2 June 2011 0:22

Its the parents fault not OPs it's not an older sisters job to always be watching her little sis!

Joefishonie 9

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Saturday 26 September 2015 15:17

my sister is 10 and he's done that 4 or 5 times she just forgets

eddiet0628 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:41

wow you def need to keep an eye on her. not saying it's your fault but definitley pay attention while she is cooking and whatnot.

akalisser 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:53

She said it was her little sister, not her child; it's not really her job to supervise her. It sounds like she might have been asleep or busy when it happened, and her little sister just decided to try and cook when no one was paying attention. Her parents should have been around...

xXPaigerzXx 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:44

haha totally have to agree with lemonslice

SHAAAAAARK 1

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:47

i'm pretty sure inhaling burning plastic is bad...

Bertha5 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:56

healthyy. ;)

Rose1989_fml 0

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:58

My brother did that once with a Ramen Cup. He almost burned the house down, and it smelled funny for about a week. Sorry, I know how you feel. ^_~

RubyRedHead 0

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Thursday 22 March 2012 22:54

My sister too -_- and she's 16.

seacadet 18

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Sunday 16 December 2012 4:38

^^That's hilarious, and should be its own FML.

bugmenotmofo 34

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Saturday 9 January 2010 23:58

my little brother did the same exact thing... Here's a tip: use non acetone nail polish to clean the yellow layer of burnt crap off of the inside of the microwave