Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Steamy
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Remote sex
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Talk sexy to me
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Dirty talk
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Do me
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
seizethedayy 2
You deserve it, breaking bad is to good of a show.
AyPapiChulo 9
hahahaha sorry for laughing but it was a great show
CrazyGirlfriend 21
my personal belief. If you dont want to have sex with them becausw you're not ready for it, then they should be respectful toward you and wait until youre ready. Talk to your partner about it. I think that isnt something to be compromised about. The rest of this conversation, I agree with. communication is important. If youre wanting sex maybe once a week and they want sex like five then have sex twice a week and do other things to satisfy them. for example: Im more sex driven than my boyfriend. He may give me sex more than he wants it one week and the next he may finish me off in other ways. some times I jusy have suffer finishing myself off. it is all about compromise.
CrazyGirlfriend 21
because* Also, for the first part of my comment..you can finish your partner off in other ways though. but only if youre ready for those steps in the relationship! (I tried to add thay in but my edit time ran out).
Kallystos 16
You > Breaking Bad. Always. Make him know that ;) He can record it and play it later
saltysilverfox 7
ydi
The_Doctor10 7
YDI My god, coming between a man and Breaking Bad .... If you truly loved him you would've known not to try to make him choose. Since you did try he was well within his rights to go Heisenberg on your ass.
brickson98 3
Breaking Bad > Sex
PAsurvivor 15
Hate to be all sappy, but he SHOULD want to be with you more than watch a show. I'm amazed at the amount of people that sided with him.
gameguy118 1
Hey, at least he doesn't only love you for sex!