Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
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Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
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Top comments
mintcar 10
You put your arm around your dog to be " cute?" Strange reason.
ImaginaryFoe 1
"Let sleeping dogs lie." Never wondered why that's an old adage, huh?
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Comments (80)
oni_owns 0
you fail!
allmidnighteyes 11
Anything FML where the person does something in an attempt "to be cute" usually garners a YDI.
Hidan_fml 0
"Today, my boyfriend and I were taking a photo. To be cute, I pouted my lips together. He didn't like it so he shot me. FML" Did she deserve it?
leedivinchi 0
yeah essay!!! you don't screw with a face that the guy doesn't like! bitch shoulda known!! just playin but yeah she does still deserve it.
FerrariCake 2
#21... it depends. Did he shoot her with the camera? If not, with what? And where? #18 specifically refers to FMLs, so your example is irrelevant unless it is from a posted FML. By extension, your comment is irrelevant.
ScaryyMary 14
If the OP in the hypothetical FML was pouting her lips into duckface then YES, she totally deserved it. Also, her boyfriend is a national hero.
allmidnighteyes 11
I would definitely pop a bitch in the face if she was pouting her lips into a duckface for a picture, and she would definitely deserve it. That shit's not cute, yo.
RPattzs_gurl 0
21 made me ROFLMFAO XD
evilcartman 0
you wanna be a turd go lay in the yard...
BabyLuis 0
well ur dog ddnt think it was cute at all..
ifmlftw 0
wow
blahblahblah5_x 13
That's what you get for begging to be cute. :)
squeaker07 15
Awww you should have learned by now that you're not supposed to do that. They look all adorable but if you sleep in their area, you've pissed them off. I know...because that happened to me...today...and for the past 3 months...I just can't resist my puppy's cuteness.
k9luver13 0
I do that all the time with my dog and she never bites me :) she must love me
tona01 16
it never happens with my dog either
iWasWatchinCops 0
Never happend to me,op's dog must be a asshole.
FerrariCake 2
This is why dogs >> cats. Dogs will only punish you when you deserve it.
Silver996 2
The Enzo was a complete failure of a car by anyone's standards, let alone Ferrari's. You should change your profile picture.
valri3 0
What a Bitch....