Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
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Top comments
mintcar 10
You put your arm around your dog to be " cute?" Strange reason.
ImaginaryFoe 1
"Let sleeping dogs lie." Never wondered why that's an old adage, huh?
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Comments (80)
prettypinkpixie 9
You really shouldn't mess with a sleeping dog... I had a friend who was bit in the eye by his dog because he startled her while she was sleeping. It doesnt matter how loving of an animal it is, it's not smart to get your face close to them while they are sleeping.
milakitty21 0
who the hell are you? The puppy police?
grdianknight 0
ydi, dogs or people, doesn't matter, they wake up and you're in their face, expect them to react.
Sammara 0
How is this f-ing anyone's life? Your dog has arms! You're rich!
eclecticstrings 0
dogs have arms now? dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn
KingDingALing 9
12- Well, what type of jokes were you expecting from a guy whose username is Every1luvsboners?
Juliaa15 6
Well I kinda misread your comment. But you misread the FML. Wahh. But still!
SiobahnR 0
:( unfortunately some dogs are prone to do that it all depends on their breed and how easily they are startled. don't take it personally OP I'm sure he or she still loves you.
FailBear920 19
Beastility is gross u sick fock!
feralphoenix 4
You shouldn't be talking. Spell stupid right next time.
BlkBryMolasses 0
You must not know, you're supposed to "let sleeping dogs lie." YDI.