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My boyfriend taught his mom how to text and now uses text messaging as a way to practice her English (they're from Asia). She texts him repeatedly through the day with things like this, it's cute :')

By  Acousticpixie14  |  6

I highly doubt you receive a text every 30 seconds. Every few minutes sounds much more believable.
Maybe you should, oh, I dunno, ANSWER the woman who gave birth to you?
Sounds like an easy solution to me...