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  jdeezyjames  |  8

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: "Can I see your dad?" Johnny: "No, he's in the shower." Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?" Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too." Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?" Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead." Haha not related but at least you have something to laugh at now OP. :D

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  Ambient25  |  24

I have one for you too OP: So my girl was getting on me about buying beer, saying that it costs too much and that I need to stop. Well, reluctantly I did, and the days went by. I caught her buying make up though, and I mean expensive stuff, spending way more than I ever did on the beer. I confronted her and she replied "Well I'm trying to look good for you" to which I replied "but that's what the beer was for!!"....now I have to share the couch with the dog.

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  jazzy_123  |  20

i have one too! I think it's a cute one :) So there's a police officer who is patrolling the streets like he usually has to do. He notices that the car in front of him has been driving perfectly well the whole time; he didn't make a single mistake! So he flashes his lights and stops him. "What seems to be the problem sir?" The police officer says, "I've been following for the past 10 mins and you haven't made a single mistake!" he hands him a piece of paper, "go down to the station and give them this to get a prize." The officer thanks him and just as he's about to leave, the man's mother, who was sitting in the passenger seat and heard everything says, "Why thank you officer! My son drives so well when he's drunk!"

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  mario2012  |  18

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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