Work: Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 5

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 105

Spicy

Spicy

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 354

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 126

05/02/2013 13:09

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 952

You deserved it 3 108

Age difference

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Still pining

03/07/2013 02:39

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 501

You deserved it 5 719

11/02/2016 21:51

Spicy

Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip of your dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 117

You deserved it 7 230

18/08/2012 04:51

Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 174

You deserved it 2 072

16/03/2012 02:21

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 553

You deserved it 4 852

20/05/2010 21:32

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 907

You deserved it 7 596

Stuck in TV Hell

By Anonymous - 29/03/2020 23:00

Today, I'm self isolating with a mother who hogs the remote but doesn't know how to use it, and is so short-sighted she can barely see the TV. Every five minutes, I hear, "What have I done now?", "How have I got onto this then?" and she won't let me help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 176

28/08/2012 14:16

Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 549

You deserved it 4 415

18/12/2010 20:22

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 383

You deserved it 4 978

26/07/2009 13:05

Spicy

Today, it was my boyfriends birthday and I saw he was logged in on ooVoo. He sent me a request to video chat so I decided to take off all of my clothes to surprise him. Little did I know, his entire family was at his house and at the computer because he, "wanted to show them what a great girlfriend I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 088

You deserved it 75 556

17/05/2013 16:16

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 565

You deserved it 5 533

It's alright

By Anonymous - 29/07/2021 22:01

Today, I dreamt of my mom. She came over to me, and said, "Hey, I'm alright, the doctors were wrong." My mom died 4 months ago due to Covid-19 complications, and waking up shouldn't be so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 52

10/06/2012 19:50

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying he had to move away to be with his dad, who's just been diagnosed with cancer. After talking to his sister, I discovered that not only is his dad healthy, he's not moving away either; he's just gotten back with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 429

You deserved it 2 533

16/01/2016 05:52

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 120

You deserved it 1 282

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15

Spicy

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 874

You deserved it 50 760

18/04/2009 14:24

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 390

You deserved it 6 427

07/11/2015 14:33

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 437

You deserved it 2 674

29/05/2009 03:51

Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 465

You deserved it 4 154

20/09/2017 04:30

Today, while playing ping pong, my brother got mad that he lost and threw the paddle at my head, causing me to fall backwards into the TV mounted on the wall. Now I have a concussion and have to pay to replace the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 324

You deserved it 203

04/05/2017 04:00

Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 825

You deserved it 420

17/06/2009 04:25

Spicy

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 831

You deserved it 4 676

03/11/2015 22:06

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 692

You deserved it 3 482

12/11/2009 11:17

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 820

You deserved it 49 398

28/11/2010 07:10

Spicy

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 115

You deserved it 44 883

Quiet night in

By 2 time momma - 23/01/2021 21:58

Today, as a stressed NHS nurse, I tried to take a relaxing bath, except I dropped my book in the water, my candle set my hair on fire, I slipped getting out and may have broken my finger. The noise woke up my 2 kids, so I had to start their bedtime routine over again and I got bath salt crystals in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 145

19/09/2014 17:58

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 908

You deserved it 4 156

16/01/2015 03:15

Today, I learned that when a man in the row in front of you at a movie theater tells you to shut up, you shouldn't tell him to fuck off. He might be 6'4 with a short temper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 684

You deserved it 49 594

04/11/2009 08:44

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 866

You deserved it 4 720

28/03/2015 17:10

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 134

You deserved it 4 168

07/08/2019 04:00

Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a 10-year-old who kept shouting, a belligerent 7-year-old, two 5-year-olds who thought hitting me was funny and two 2-year-olds, who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 178

17/02/2010 05:03

Today, my girlfriend and I were waiting for the bus. The weather had been cold and snowy recently, and I realized I'd forgotten my transit card. She nonetheless got on the bus without me. I had to walk it alone in the snow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 291

You deserved it 8 981

13/12/2011 14:00

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 053

You deserved it 3 116

21/04/2013 23:26

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 283

You deserved it 4 133

Get vaccinated

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 04:00

Today, two patients died. Both had Covid. I'm still trying to deal with the issues last year left me with and we're right back in the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 115

01/02/2011 15:40

Today, a snow storm rolled into my small town, leaving my car stuck under 3 feet of snow. I called my boss to tell her I couldn't drive to work. Her reply? "Walk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 314

You deserved it 5 871

Unrequited lover

By Anonymous - 13/11/2020 11:31

Today, I had to give advice to my best friend and love of my life. What kind of advice? What to wear while on a date with some guy. We're roommates, and she wouldn't stop telling me about everything when she got home. This happens on a regular basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 878

30/11/2012 19:30

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 230

You deserved it 4 938

Cool mom

By hmh - 21/09/2021 08:00

Today, I tried to give my mom a hug, but she pushed me away and yelled at me for trying to hug her while she’s angry. When I asked how I was supposed to know, she replied, “Read my fucking body language, idiot!” I’m diagnosed autistic and she knows it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 91

03/03/2015 01:42

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 728

You deserved it 2 725

04/12/2015 05:31

Today, my roommate thought of a new idea for our household. According to him, we should take dumps at work as often as we can, that way, "we'll save on toilet paper at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 308

You deserved it 2 331

13/03/2010 19:10

Today, my boyfriend complained that we may not work out because I'm "just too needy". I'd woken up early and texted him "good morning" while he was trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 658

You deserved it 9 632

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:01

Maybe she just doesn't realize that she's hideous

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:02

You could say that you were drawing her inner beauty, not her outer beauty. Maybe she'll get the hint.

Comments

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:00

Art just isn't for everyone, always room for improvement... maybe

ColdplaySucks 18

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:02

Just say it's subjective. You could have a pile of feces and call it art.

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:05

What can then be considered art or not art? Can any whimsical creation be art? Are there measurements of art, like: "This painting is better art than that dog shit?" I Draw the line at feces.

Kingbreezy04 10

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:06

I've seen some dog shit that made some pretty interesting pictures.

ColdplaySucks 18

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:07

I was poking fun at the 'artists' who take simple objects like a toilet and call it art. I'm an artist myself and I really wouldn't consider it art but hey, it's just my opinion.

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:13

I guess provocation is an art, too. It really just feels like a statement, like a big "fuck you guys," since artists can take a shit in a box and write their name on it and it becomes a piece of valuable art. Not because of the intrinsic value of the art, but because of the renown of the artist. I feel that this is the opposite of how it should go. Artist famous for quality of the art.

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:01

If I were you I would edit it and add a snout, horns and whiskers.

loloalltheway 23

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Wednesday 6 February 2013 7:34

Wow overreact much?

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:01

Maybe she just doesn't realize that she's hideous

ninjaqueen101 18

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:02

Maybe your the next Picasso?

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:40

*you're

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:02

You could say that you were drawing her inner beauty, not her outer beauty. Maybe she'll get the hint.

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:02

Some people just can't face their ugly...

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Wednesday 6 February 2013 2:36

I don't have an ugly. Could you tell me where to get one do that I can face it daily?

Webslinger66 10

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:03

Draw her like one of your French girls

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:03

Maybe you felt pride because you know how bad it can be? And you've gotten better? Idk. Still seems rude...

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:03

You could always pull a dick move and say something like "I'm not used to drawing such oddly proportioned faces."

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Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:05

You ain't got no time for that

cheertrombonist 9

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Wednesday 6 February 2013 0:46

*ain't nobody