By 6u174r_d00d - United States
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
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  enonymous  |  8

“Ok, first off, a lion…swimming in the ocean?
Lions don’t even like water.If you placed it near a river, or some sort of fresh water source, that’d make sense.But you find yourself in the ocean, a 20 ft wave, I’m assuming its off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full, grown, 800 lb tuna with his 20 or 30 friends.You lose that battle. you lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what, you wandered into our school, of tuna and we now have a taste of blood! We’ve talked, to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said, ‘you know what? lion tastes good. Lets go get some more lion.’We’ve developed a system, to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner your, your pride, your children, your offspring…”

  Iamnotmyself  |  17

-97 not one person knows who you are addressing, please put the number as I have done before commenting. I shall give a couple of examples:
~837 Ur mom is fat get out of her base ment n00b
#547 Your piss makes me want to glitter sparkle all over you.
To 637: Rifl ur cummont so funy haha

  Drigr  |  9

74 why do you say that? obviously she us attractive. she can live off the dimes of others her whole life. and if that ever fails she can be a whore, stripper, or porn star

  slushpup9696  |  12

189 - ah you're right

"You know what, I'm going to hang onto the wooden gun."
"To give me back my real gun?"
"No. I'm going to give you this... It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you're in any trouble, and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out."
*Quietly blows the whistle*

  gbreck  |  0

35- I really do hope you could tell he was pulling a funny... if not, the only logical inference is that you are either a complete dick, or an ignorant douche. I'm going to hazard a guess and say you're just a douche.

  slitherbomb  |  0

35, you're totally right! I mean CMON! How is her opinion of him going to change because of something like that? You're a genius. You know that? You're truly gifted, PURE genius.

  chrisauh  |  4

The "worthwhile" girl better not be fat/ugly.

  maz255  |  10

Mr./Ms. Chrisuah, you sir/mam, have made yourself veeerrryy unpopular on this site. Go do yourself a favor and open up a new account or leave because you are going to get soooooo flamed after this comment...
btw ladies, i thumbed this comment down *wink*

  angelofmusic89  |  11

Really? there aren't any girls who don't go for douchebags? My fiance is the most loving man on the face of the planet and currently overseas defending us in the war in Iraq. He writes to me every day and numbers his letters so I can read them in order in case one comes sooner than another. Even though I haven't seen him in months our love grows for each other every day.

So don't tell me that there aren't women who go for the good guys because we are out there. He is far from being a douchebag.

  maz255  |  10

151 please tell me where in my comment do you see me being a popped-up collar types... i shall now cover myself up in butter, and kill you..

  a_nutritionist  |  10

@254 your opinion of your husband is completely redundant. clearly girls wont be going "oh you know what, youre a complete cunt, i like that..." he may be a douche, you wouldnt know, youre the one who likes him. how do you not see that?

by the way, im not defending the point, while its true many of the easy girls do go for douchey guys that doesnt apply to the entire female population. besides, guys, if nobody is interested in you, youre the one whos to blame.

  angelofmusic89  |  11

My family loves him, my best friends love him. When I introduced him to my best friend she said she was super jealous because I found a guy who only has eyes for me when I walk into a room. My coworkers who have met him say that he's truly a gentleman. He used to bring me flowers weekly when he was home. He has no douchy qualities and it isn't me being blinded by love.

  wolfshadow  |  4

"Nice guys finish last, you're running' outta gas, your sympathy will get you left behind."

Nice Guys Finish Last - Green Day
Appropriate for this FML

  dudeitsdanny  |  9

Well, when reading the description of the guy, you have to keep in mind that this is an angry OP writing it.

Maybe he had a popped collar, and as douchey as that may be, maybe he was an attractive, charismatic dude.. While OP is on FML bad mouthing him for getting the girl.
Also notice OP's way of spelling "guitar dude" on his username.. He might be a creepy 1337 nerd who sits in coffee shops to browse the internet for hours and hours on end.. Or who sits there randomly strumming his guitar in public.
Maybe OP is the real douche, which seems to be the case due to his attitude.

This was longer than it was meant to be..

TL;DR- Maybe OP's the real douche.

  jenno32  |  3

Telling people not to make assumptions of the OP and then yourself making MORE assumptions on the dude he's talking about isn't helping your argument.

  6u174r_d00d  |  6

Lol, you're analyzing the crap out of my profile to win the attention of the Internet, but I'm the "1337 nerd." The only public playing I do is in front of an audience backed by a band. I spelled my username that way because guitar_dude was taken.

  ImaginaryFoe  |  0

Agreed. I'm not sure what a popped collar is supposed to translate to but it sounds like a superficial way to make a judgement. Maybe he made her laugh. Maybe he makes her laugh every day and decided today was the day he'd finally ask her out.

I can't imagine any man making a favourable impression on me by coming from nowhere and saying, "May I please have your telephone number?" Feel the room.


Foe has a good point. A random dude coming up to me and asking for my number would probably result in me flipping him off. Not saying that I would ever go for the douche OP described, but guys are supposed to flirt a LITTLE bit before asking for a number. Unless the OP did a bad job describing, in which case the girl is an insensitive bitch.