Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
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By
RatRodInk
| 0
Everyone knows you gotta pop your collar if your a pimp
By
Inspired22
| 11
Don't give up. The worthwhile girls don't go for the popped-collar type anyway.
COMMENTS
By
RatRodInk
| 0
Everyone knows you gotta pop your collar if your a pimp
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
I'd become a pimp for free frappichinos! Also the money but that's just a extra.
Reply
slushpup9696
| 12
As long as gator's boys are using jimmies, I have no problem.
(somebody please get the movie ref)
(somebody please get the movie ref)
Reply
morganrules123
| 10
19-Gator don't play no shit!
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ktateprado
| 0
I can out pimp gator.
Reply
officeradvil
| 8
Dirty Mike and the boys use that coffee shop as an F-Shack.
Reply
ThreeSheetsGone
| 12
I'm a beautiful peacock! Let me spread my wings and fly!
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slushpup9696
| 12
aim for the bushes.
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hellogoodbye1996
| 6
He "asked the her for her number" lmao
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enonymous
| 8
“Ok, first off, a lion…swimming in the ocean?
Lions don’t even like water.If you placed it near a river, or some sort of fresh water source, that’d make sense.But you find yourself in the ocean, a 20 ft wave, I’m assuming its off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full, grown, 800 lb tuna with his 20 or 30 friends.You lose that battle. you lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what, you wandered into our school, of tuna and we now have a taste of blood! We’ve talked, to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said, ‘you know what? lion tastes good. Lets go get some more lion.’We’ve developed a system, to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner your, your pride, your children, your offspring…”
Lions don’t even like water.If you placed it near a river, or some sort of fresh water source, that’d make sense.But you find yourself in the ocean, a 20 ft wave, I’m assuming its off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full, grown, 800 lb tuna with his 20 or 30 friends.You lose that battle. you lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what, you wandered into our school, of tuna and we now have a taste of blood! We’ve talked, to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said, ‘you know what? lion tastes good. Lets go get some more lion.’We’ve developed a system, to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner your, your pride, your children, your offspring…”
Reply
Xtra_Cheddar
| 3
Gator needs his gat you punk @ss bi*ch
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Iamnotmyself
| 17
-50. Is it normal if I orgasmed to your comment? No? I'll crawl back into my corner then.
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enonymous
| 8
I orgasm every time I post. Mainly because I post on the toilet. Poopgasm: best feeling ever
Reply
PutItIn
| 8
I thought this was gonna end in Jizz in My Pants.
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ktateprado
| 0
I jizz right in my pants everytime your next to me.
Reply
enonymous
| 8
56 only if you play your cards right
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enonymous
| 8
56 only if you play your cards right
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ElGranOrgo
| 0
Rofl
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CondomSense
| 4
I agree, don't worry OP, she won't get far in life, certainly.
Reply
22cute
| 17
OMG! I love your pic!!!
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-97 not one person knows who you are addressing, please put the number as I have done before commenting. I shall give a couple of examples:
~837 Ur mom is fat get out of her base ment n00b
#547 Your piss makes me want to glitter sparkle all over you.
To 637: Rifl ur cummont so funy haha
~837 Ur mom is fat get out of her base ment n00b
#547 Your piss makes me want to glitter sparkle all over you.
To 637: Rifl ur cummont so funy haha
Reply
Drigr
| 9
74 why do you say that? obviously she us attractive. she can live off the dimes of others her whole life. and if that ever fails she can be a whore, stripper, or porn star
Reply
juicedboi
| 7
U Mirin' Bruh?
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sccrismyantidrg
| 4
19- "Gator's BITCHES better be using jimmies."
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donny31459
| 0
You should've shot A-Rod!
Reply
slushpup9696
| 12
189 - ah you're right
"You know what, I'm going to hang onto the wooden gun."
"To give me back my real gun?"
"No. I'm going to give you this... It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you're in any trouble, and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out."
*Quietly blows the whistle*
"You know what, I'm going to hang onto the wooden gun."
"To give me back my real gun?"
"No. I'm going to give you this... It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you're in any trouble, and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out."
*Quietly blows the whistle*
Reply
Luke_1989_2007
| 0
Your a pussy and you'll probably never get a girls number
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sccrismyantidrg
| 4
239- Haha I literally just saw that movie a few days ago so I enjoyed your comment.
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nilin95
| 1
That might have been my douchebag brother sorry.
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bhawks8188
| 0
Did you pop your collar and use the same pick up line?
Reply
omerthebomber
| 4
Its beautiful when other guys references bring people together.
*sniff*
*sniff*
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nanahiwa
| 0
Step brothers
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tx_beast
| 5
Err body, err body, err body knows, dem pop collad pimps, they get them hoes!!(said in best black voice)
By
Happiness2Joy
| 3
Try coming in the next day looking like a douchebag and try again :P
Reply
bthomas0319
| 2
Oh yeah because she will be like oh my god all of a sudden you changed and now I'm attracted to you!
NO.
NO.
Reply
Vash_41288
| 10
Stranger shit has happened, I mean your on FML proof enough lol
Reply
hellbilly205
| 17
Id rather get rejected then be the douchebag with the popped collar...
Reply
gbreck
| 0
35- I really do hope you could tell he was pulling a funny... if not, the only logical inference is that you are either a complete dick, or an ignorant douche. I'm going to hazard a guess and say you're just a douche.
Reply
slitherbomb
| 0
35, you're totally right! I mean CMON! How is her opinion of him going to change because of something like that? You're a genius. You know that? You're truly gifted, PURE genius.
Reply
dbss11
| 3
LOL 85- totally just proved 71 right with ignorance, because 85 has no idea what 71 was talking about. 85 fails...
Reply
mollyslips
| 13
hell yeah!
Reply
supersillydokio
| 1
Woah 94 you totes just called 85 well done man you so pointed out the fail that 85 did woohoo you must be smart smart dude.
Reply
ScaughtieHolden
| 11
35, Suddenly. Not all of a sudden. That doesn't even make sense..
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firefail1031
| 0
Apparently 94 doesn't get sarcasm either....
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ThatSceneKid1313
| 9
Thats stupid, being rejected sucks. I'll pop every collar I got.
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corruptblackkat
| 17
lol lol i cried i was laughing so hard at this nice lol
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dani212
| 0
It would change my mind :)
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SenorJose89
| 4
Sorry dude, girls suck these days and tend to go for dousch bags. Good luck finding a nice down to earth girl
By
Inspired22
| 11
Don't give up. The worthwhile girls don't go for the popped-collar type anyway.
Reply
chrisauh
| 4
The "worthwhile" girl better not be fat/ugly.
Reply
maz255
| 10
Mr./Ms. Chrisuah, you sir/mam, have made yourself veeerrryy unpopular on this site. Go do yourself a favor and open up a new account or leave because you are going to get soooooo flamed after this comment...
btw ladies, i thumbed this comment down *wink*
btw ladies, i thumbed this comment down *wink*
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-8 Like Justin Bieber? ( referring to his picture )
Reply
slitherbomb
| 0
28, let him do him. If he's unpopular, who cares? I often find some good comments get thumbed down for no reason like the one he just wrote.
Reply
imustbeinsane
| 2
5 you are a lady and a scholar
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Jim717
| 1
5 dont listen to 28, I bet you he is one of those popped up collar type's!!
Reply
hellbilly205
| 17
Point me in the direction of the girls that dont go for douches please... Jk thats impossible cause there aint any girls like that
Reply
Truth_Nazi
| 0
I hate to break it to you, but yes they do. There aren't any girls nowadays that like the sweet, sensitive type
Reply
jvillan87
| 5
You can blame Jersey Shore for that.....
Reply
angelofmusic89
| 11
Really? there aren't any girls who don't go for douchebags? My fiance is the most loving man on the face of the planet and currently overseas defending us in the war in Iraq. He writes to me every day and numbers his letters so I can read them in order in case one comes sooner than another. Even though I haven't seen him in months our love grows for each other every day.
So don't tell me that there aren't women who go for the good guys because we are out there. He is far from being a douchebag.
So don't tell me that there aren't women who go for the good guys because we are out there. He is far from being a douchebag.
Reply
maz255
| 10
151 please tell me where in my comment do you see me being a popped-up collar types... i shall now cover myself up in butter, and kill you..
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urmomsupstrs
| 1
so 254 tecnacly 207s point is somewhat valid because your taken, and i bet most of the "worth while" girls are taken as well.
Reply
a_nutritionist
| 10
@254 your opinion of your husband is completely redundant. clearly girls wont be going "oh you know what, youre a complete cunt, i like that..." he may be a douche, you wouldnt know, youre the one who likes him. how do you not see that?
by the way, im not defending the point, while its true many of the easy girls do go for douchey guys that doesnt apply to the entire female population. besides, guys, if nobody is interested in you, youre the one whos to blame.
by the way, im not defending the point, while its true many of the easy girls do go for douchey guys that doesnt apply to the entire female population. besides, guys, if nobody is interested in you, youre the one whos to blame.
Reply
angelofmusic89
| 11
My family loves him, my best friends love him. When I introduced him to my best friend she said she was super jealous because I found a guy who only has eyes for me when I walk into a room. My coworkers who have met him say that he's truly a gentleman. He used to bring me flowers weekly when he was home. He has no douchy qualities and it isn't me being blinded by love.
Reply
wolfshadow
| 4
"Nice guys finish last, you're running' outta gas, your sympathy will get you left behind."
Nice Guys Finish Last - Green Day
Appropriate for this FML
Nice Guys Finish Last - Green Day
Appropriate for this FML
By
bribearr
| 6
Are you ugly?
Reply
Happiness2Joy
| 3
I don't know, are you?
Reply
bribearr
| 6
I don't know. People say I'm pretty, but I'm kinda insecure.
I was joking. Calm your tits. :)
I was joking. Calm your tits. :)
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-22 My imaginary tits are very much not calm.
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bribearr
| 6
Does anyone know if you can delete comments? I kinda just want this gone? I'm sorry to who I offended.
By
slushpup9696
| 12
Well now that you know what she likes, do you still want her?
Reply
dudeitsdanny
| 9
Well, when reading the description of the guy, you have to keep in mind that this is an angry OP writing it.
Maybe he had a popped collar, and as douchey as that may be, maybe he was an attractive, charismatic dude.. While OP is on FML bad mouthing him for getting the girl.
Also notice OP's way of spelling "guitar dude" on his username.. He might be a creepy 1337 nerd who sits in coffee shops to browse the internet for hours and hours on end.. Or who sits there randomly strumming his guitar in public.
Maybe OP is the real douche, which seems to be the case due to his attitude.
This was longer than it was meant to be..
TL;DR- Maybe OP's the real douche.
Maybe he had a popped collar, and as douchey as that may be, maybe he was an attractive, charismatic dude.. While OP is on FML bad mouthing him for getting the girl.
Also notice OP's way of spelling "guitar dude" on his username.. He might be a creepy 1337 nerd who sits in coffee shops to browse the internet for hours and hours on end.. Or who sits there randomly strumming his guitar in public.
Maybe OP is the real douche, which seems to be the case due to his attitude.
This was longer than it was meant to be..
TL;DR- Maybe OP's the real douche.
Reply
kaykay20
| 0
7 brings up a good point though. I personally would lose interest in someone if they fell for a obvious cheesy pick up line right off the back.
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betty66
| 3
That's what I was thinking hahaa he's just mad because he wasn't hot enough for her
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jenno32
| 3
Telling people not to make assumptions of the OP and then yourself making MORE assumptions on the dude he's talking about isn't helping your argument.
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intothecrypt
| 3
109 that saying ends with 'bat', not back. and trust me, you'd still want her.
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6u174r_d00d
| 6
Lol, you're analyzing the crap out of my profile to win the attention of the Internet, but I'm the "1337 nerd." The only public playing I do is in front of an audience backed by a band. I spelled my username that way because guitar_dude was taken.
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kaykay20
| 0
Thanks for the correction. If I was just looking for casual sex instead of a relationship then I may reconsider if their was something I liked.
By
bribearr
| 6
Cool Story bro.
Reply
bribearr
| 6
I mean this for #1.......btw.
By
kings1fan
| 6
Everyones got their type
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ImaginaryFoe
| 0
Agreed. I'm not sure what a popped collar is supposed to translate to but it sounds like a superficial way to make a judgement. Maybe he made her laugh. Maybe he makes her laugh every day and decided today was the day he'd finally ask her out.
I can't imagine any man making a favourable impression on me by coming from nowhere and saying, "May I please have your telephone number?" Feel the room.
I can't imagine any man making a favourable impression on me by coming from nowhere and saying, "May I please have your telephone number?" Feel the room.
Reply
CryMoreFMLs
| 14
I think OP lives around me. 90% of the girls are like this.
But all i need is my phone, my padded cell and my adoring FML fans.
But all i need is my phone, my padded cell and my adoring FML fans.
Reply
fightingkittens
| 39
Foe has a good point. A random dude coming up to me and asking for my number would probably result in me flipping him off. Not saying that I would ever go for the douche OP described, but guys are supposed to flirt a LITTLE bit before asking for a number. Unless the OP did a bad job describing, in which case the girl is an insensitive bitch.
By
TKello
| 6
Well...that's not very attractive...
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The_9th_Doctor
| 18
no douchebag is attractive
By
Ray_of_midnight
| 22
She has shitty taste in men. If she were to date you, too, what does that say about you?
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twinny_sc
| 13
That he's a shitty guy? Nope...nope too easy. It has to mean something else...
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iliketurdles
| 7
Lastcakeleft; did you draw that picture of [H]ouse aka Hugh Laurie?
Reply
johnpaul43
| 0
let's all assume the guy with the popped collar and can talk smooth is a shitty guy just because he can pick up chicks and get free coffee
By
salvyluv
| 0
She's not worth your time!