Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML
Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML
Today, I went to make cookies, the box said mix by hand so I literally used my hands. Not a fork or anything. My step-mom walked in and laughed at me. FML
Today, what started as my mom calling my grandma for a recipe turned into them discussing the philosophical reason behind my baking. I apparently picked up baking because I'm depressed over unemployment. And here I thought I just liked the smell of baked goods. FML
Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML
Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML
Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ddlovatolover 23
That is absolutely horrendous. FYL
NinjaJellyfish 27
Make her eat it all.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
ddlovatolover 23
That is absolutely horrendous. FYL
Nyx_fml 23
Your profile picture goes with this OP's baking perfectly.
NinjaJellyfish 27
Make her eat it all.
Caitie_kid 8
I would. What a little shit bag. I would be pissed!
150493x 29
Nailed it
RoboCunnilingus 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I kept scrolling down, to about post #10 before I got your pun, came back and thumbed you up.
5tee 3
cool story bro
Vidrill 22
This is why I don't bake. Something is bound to go wrong everytime.
Schizomaniac 24
That is quite a specific reason to avoid baking.
Caitie_kid 8
If you're the one baking at least you can clean under your nails. If someone else bakes it, who knows what's in it. :-x
iAlissa 34
Well that was an asshole move.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ewwww although if never found out the sugar would keep the taste the same
vipirius 18
It's not about the taste, it's about the hygiene.
Nordrag 26
always make sure someone cleans their hands really well before letting them help. it might not have been a perfect prevention but I feel it would have been a bit better
shibeep 12
Gives it that extra kick
Catkam623 27
I wouldn't eat that. However I'm sure your sister will feel obligated to eat her own nails and watching that should be interesting.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Roommate, not sister.
PinkieKeen 20
lol -37 +37
diabian 9
Resourceful...