By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 984
You deserved it 5 564

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!


I'm assuming it was some type of warning, she just wants you to be safe. On the bright side at least it wasn't a rape whistle

Although that whistle would definitely be helpful.

Not giving a rape whistle doesn't mean there's no danger of rape. It just means her friend's practical: a Taser or pepper spray might physically stop an attack, a whistle is just a hope to stop it.

Yeah, I think a rape whistle would be utterly useless. Who hears a whistle and automatically thinks, "Oh no! That whistle can only mean that someone is being brutally attacked. I should run in the direction of that whistle on the off chance I'll actually find the location this crime is being committed, then immediately put myself in harm's way to help a total stranger." It's like not bothering to learn how to change a tire and deciding that if you ever get a flat you'll turn your hazard lights on in the hopes that someone who does know how to change a tire will stop and help you.

SeepingSarcasm 7

Here in South Africa a rape whistle would be of absolutely no use. A taser and pepper spray would up her chances a bit, I'd say all the way up to a 44.6% of not getting raped! ;p

Have you been there before? I underestimated the crime and quickly learned not to. Beautiful country. Wonderful people. Horrible crime.

I've heard the crime rate there is pretty high, so OPs friend is just helping her to be safe!

Toasty283 8

Bitch please, if I heard a whistle for danger, I'd run in the opposite direction.

She is lucky I would have got her a shotgun and a glock

What's up with all these puns lately? They're frying my brains!

RocketNinjaFish 12

86- with that comment, I'm wondering if you had any brains to begin with.

It is definitely going to be a culture shock but hopefully it will be a great experience for her.

SomeRandomGuy just corrected a SillyGirl. lol

chlorinegreen 27

Maybe she thinks you'll feel more comfortable if you have something that will keep youl safe with?

Or she knows that South Africa is the country with the highest incidence of rape in the world...

DyslexicPanda 12

Not to mention murder, kidnapping, and general mal-intent..

Thats ridiculous. Does she live in the Cape Flats?

40 - Is Johannesburg that bad compared to the rest of the country? I thought it was all bad. I know a family from there who moved to Melbourne to escape the crime.

#40 the crime depends on what part of the country you're in. Some places are a lot safer than others. In Johannesburg alone you're generally fine in Sandton but you're completely screwed if you go to Hillbrow or Newtown (CBD area)

You're likely to get mugged at knife or gunpoint in Jo'burg, frequently.

SeepingSarcasm 7

Stop talking through your arse #133 - If you apply a small bit of logic, and not be stupid by walking around in Jhb late at night, you will be fine. Like anywhere else, during the day everybody there is just on their way to and from work.

Yeees, and the friends who had a machete pulled out on them, were just over-exaggerating...were they?! Look at the crime stats for South Africa. Or were they extracted from my rectum too?

Clearly you have no idea what you're talking about. So many of my friend have been mugged during the day is jhb one even got stabbed.

Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!

Taser still doesn't help? So she needs some Rockets?

You don't need a taser! You need a Pistorius.

mega20913 8

I agree with's only been like 3 weeks

I knew someone would try and joke about that, it's so not the time though!

JJ_Rokk 10

I'd almost say that's racist, but she's in the same country. Lol.

Are you saying rapists constitute their own race?

You do realize that multiple races can exist in one country, right?

my uncle was a security contractor for the south African government in the 80s and 90s, things were real tense then and that animosity still lingers

I think it may have had something to do with that "Apartheid" thing...

oh it just might have. I mean, at least a very little bit