Intimacy: Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner....

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 931

You deserved it 2 589

Intimacy

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/01/2014 01:08 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 244

You deserved it 6 998

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 411

You deserved it 204

Where d'you go?!

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 659

You deserved it 3 558

By phuckbukket7 - 27/04/2014 22:08 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 658

You deserved it 8 725

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 537

You deserved it 236

By Liav - 23/01/2017 12:00

Today, I took my "girlfriend" to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first month anniversary, only to find out she didn't even know we're dating, but only "friends who have sex sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 855

You deserved it 1 683

By mark - 05/03/2012 22:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 211

You deserved it 29 135

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 327

You deserved it 4 245

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 156

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 434

You deserved it 8 842

andyourpointis 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:26

That's unfortunate. Allegedly, birthday sex involves the person whose birthday it is...

thinmint 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:36

Hey she had to make some cash to pay for your dinner. Be more appreciative.

Comments

andyourpointis 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:26

That's unfortunate. Allegedly, birthday sex involves the person whose birthday it is...

ZeusBeDubsteppin 24

Wednesday 24 December 2014 15:18

it doesnt say birthday sex

Miss_Chevious 37

Saturday 14 February 2015 12:52

@61 it was op's birthday as mentioned in the fml

thinmint 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:36

Hey she had to make some cash to pay for your dinner. Be more appreciative.

chloelovestoswim 6

Saturday 17 April 2010 4:12

lmfao winn!

Ninjarawwr 6

Monday 12 July 2010 4:35

ahaha, real good one ! :)

thinmint 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:38

Hey, she had to make some cash to pay for your dinner. Be more appreciative.

carlover2050 3

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:46

what's your girlfriends number???

spank_u_veryhard 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:52

damnnnnn

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:10

Damn!!! All the good ones are taken ;(

JERKKMONKEY 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:13

dude that sucks!! FYL :(

CheerRivera 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:28

damnnn...that suxx bruhh.

elparto 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 22:01

coming from a guy that has terrible luck with women....hahaha that blows. I have no quarrels being single compared to a story like this.

LemonStarship 5

Thursday 17 December 2009 22:02

Haha that sucks

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Same thing different taste

Where d'you go?!

How can I make this about me?

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