FML : Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled...

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Friday 26 October 2012 16:17 / Philippines - Makati

Kids

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Natasha14641 | 7

#5085900 - Saturday 27 October 2012 2:52

Put those devils up for adoption, OP.

By EvilPotato | 14

#5085920 - Saturday 27 October 2012 2:56

That's actually pretty smart for two five year olds! Well smart in a scary way, but still!

Comments

By Natasha14641 | 7

#5085900 - Saturday 27 October 2012 2:52

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

yoyoforpeace | 14

#5085984 - Saturday 27 October 2012 3:10

Look on the bright side OP, at least they use teamwork!

Zoh_Aubrey | 8

#5086009 - Saturday 27 October 2012 3:15

Ah, the joys of parenthood.

have_a_moment | 0

#5086582 - Saturday 27 October 2012 6:28

Have kids they said. It'll be fun they said.

dead247 | 13

#5086820 - Saturday 27 October 2012 8:07

Whoever was to say that should be slapped. Repeatedly.

MagicGiraffe | 12

#5086859 - Saturday 27 October 2012 8:26

52, and then the devil said "Let's put letters in math".

patrickalamo | 47

#5087488 - Saturday 27 October 2012 14:36

I it's time for a late term Abortion...

Minx108 | 12

#5087686 - Saturday 27 October 2012 16:02

1- there will still be casualties somewhere else

migi428 | 5

#5087980 - Saturday 27 October 2012 17:49

71, you must be retarded.

theprincess79 | 2

#5144382 - Tuesday 13 November 2012 11:54

That's rude! They don't need to be put up for adoption just because they were trying to get their moms attention, I think mom needs to pay more attention to her kids.

By Major_Whupass | 3

#5085919 - Saturday 27 October 2012 2:56

Sounds like you've got a couple of sadists... Sounds like you had two of me! :-)

tehhboss | 6

#5089021 - Sunday 28 October 2012 2:11

Weird-o

dancersinger124 | 7

#5091642 - Sunday 28 October 2012 17:22

...What

By EvilPotato | 14

#5085920 - Saturday 27 October 2012 2:56

That's actually pretty smart for two five year olds! Well smart in a scary way, but still!

geko911 | 22

#5086153 - Saturday 27 October 2012 4:29

The reason why DocBastard is in that list is most likely because he would never say something like that so it makes no difference.

RussianFox | 13

#5086165 - Saturday 27 October 2012 4:32

32- You would be surprised by how far a kiss-up would go.

dead247 | 13

#5086824 - Saturday 27 October 2012 8:10

Reminds me of a "G" rated version of an antichrist. Instead of murdering your nanny, you slam your dads fingers in the door.

By Shafena | 8

#5085929 - Saturday 27 October 2012 2:58

Kids, eh?

Accuraxy | 10

#5085949 - Saturday 27 October 2012 3:03

Yes, kids.

iOceanus | 18

#5086087 - Saturday 27 October 2012 3:55

You wrote this just to get in the first 5 comments, didn't you?

By ICastillo | 24

#5085935 - Saturday 27 October 2012 3:00

They're out to get you now OP you shouldn't have told them no, to the toys they asked you to buy them.

LiesAndMischief | 4

#5086470 - Saturday 27 October 2012 5:57

I'm sorry, but what's with the random comma...?

ICastillo | 24

#5086528 - Saturday 27 October 2012 6:07

I didn't even notice that. I edited my comment and didn't take it out.

LiesAndMischief | 4

#5086550 - Saturday 27 October 2012 6:14

Alright, I was just wondering because I couldn't help but read it with that awkward pause and it was bothering me. xD

ICastillo | 24

#5086571 - Saturday 27 October 2012 6:23

Ya now that I read it I feel a little stupid.

By ycrem0n | 20

#5085946 - Saturday 27 October 2012 3:02

How about good parenting and psychotherapy?

By Angelrose2004 | 17

#5085966 - Saturday 27 October 2012 3:07

I think these kids have watched The Omen one too many times!

By day624 | 14

#5085970 - Saturday 27 October 2012 3:09

You my friend, have a couple of sadistic daughters

MURIKKA | 11

#5086501 - Saturday 27 October 2012 6:04

I bet they enjoy standing together in long hallways.

Chanti_fml | 26

#5087061 - Saturday 27 October 2012 11:06

Redrum..., redrum...

By ICastillo | 24

#5085978 - Saturday 27 October 2012 3:10

They figured since you didn't melt when they threw water on you a few weeks ago that they would just smash your fingers as a consolation prize..

By Akazuki | 26

#5085979 - Saturday 27 October 2012 3:10

I bet we'll be seeing them in an episode of "Killer Kids" in a few years.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Kids

Nearly

Today, the girl i am in love with drunk texted me that she loves me. That's the second time this has happened. She cannot even say she has feelings for...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I was put in the middle of a decision; either sleep without a heater on and see my breath at night, or sleep with a heater, and risk heat stroke....

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

World

Loading data…

Canada

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Australia

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

See all the World FMLs

Photos

See all FML photos