By nosestealer - 07/07/2013 21:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks 58 447
You deserved it 9 851

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Did they help find it?!

MzZombicidal 36



Did they help find it?!

I never got mine back :(

Blast! They're on to me!!

AboveAll04 14

yep ! Will Smith and Martin Lawrence showed up at OP's door. And a shootout ensued looking for her nose !

This ended with a bullet in Martin's ass if I can remember correctly.

Looks like she...*takes off glasses* Nose what she's doing. YEEAAHHHHHH

Fireashes250 16

Reminds me of ASDF on YouTube.

MzZombicidal 36


*covers ears* You're suppose to say you know who! D: Or He Who Must Not Be Named!

MzZombicidal 36

Oh no! What have I done?!

"Call him Voldemort, [MzZombicidal]. Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself"

Shadowvoid 33

Voldemort is now masquerading as 5 year old little girls? But all of my neighbors have little girls... :0

Well Shadowvoid, then you better watch out for an unforgivable curse. Wait, all Princesses and no Prince! Woah!

Fear the name only increases fear of the thing itself.

136 - Somebody already beat ya to it.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

She was taught in case of a real emergency... God some of these comments I swear...

Not all 5 year Olds get taught to use phones or call in case of an emergency. So I was just asking.

... Were u raised that way?

I was never allowed near the phone until I was seven.

amayasoma 19

#20 - I know most young children are taught to dial 9-1-1 once they start talking n learning numbers. So..where you been?

You must've been raised by useless crackheads to lazy to teach a child one of the most important things a child should know.... Did they potty train you at 7 years old too?

No they potty trained me at 6 and a half.... I kinda defend for myself at this point. So I was never raised the same way most of you were.

lonewolf6613 4

I wasn't allowed near the phone until I was 7 or 8. My dad did explain the whole 911 thing to me though (against my mothers wishes). People are taught differently so quit hating.

#42 That was too harsh...

58; The comment was also grammatically incorrect. *sigh*

Llama_Face89 33

I was never allowed to use the phone when I was a kid either. And I wasn't raised by crack heads. I was raised by a doctor and a nurse. So it's not such an unusual thing.

Scynistr 20

I know when I was in kindergarten we were all taught 9-1-1.. That was 14 years ago.. So I'd hope she knew 9-1-1.

#12 I only gave you a thumbs up cause youre a queenslander!!

assassinbanana0 20

So because someone was raised differently, their parents are crack heads? That's not being sarcastic, that's just going too far.

i agree not everyone is taught!

you were potty trained at 6 and a half, wtf I was potty trained at 3

I can't blame her. Someone took her NOSE for gods sake!!!!

rg350dx 29

I just hope OP never uses the expression, "Cat got your tongue?"

I think the cops would have thought that it was hilarious and laughed it off i certainly would do that

125 - You would laugh off a case of a stolen nose?! That's almost as bad as being a nose thief!

I smell some disciplining for your child in the near future...

Hey, if someone stole your nose, wouldn't you want it back?

5- Disciplining? Seriously? Perhaps simply educating/explaining this to her would be more effective for this innocent act than punishing her for doing what she believed to be the correct course of action.....? :p

She's only 5! She's young and wanted her nose back!

deepunder 17

Some simple education- say" touch your face"

If you seriously disciplined your child for that, then there could actually be a reason for her to call. I imagine the dispatcher got a good smile out of this. Why discipline them for making the world a little brighter through their innocence?

Could you imagine being 5 years old and haveing to live the rest of your life without your nose??? You can't blame her for calling! ;)

rabidpeach 5

op should actually give her a reason to want the nose back. then who's laughing now?

It appears Tom Riddle isn't the only one who takes that game seriously.

That made me giggle. That's going to be a great story for years to come.

I know right? It probably brightened up the dispatcher's day; they have to deal with some depressing, effed up shit.

Yeah for sure, certainly brightened my day :)

Fml my ass, that's one of those adorable moments you'll treasure forever and almost certainly bring up at her wedding one day! :D Chin up and chuckle, Op! ;)

Unless op lives somewhere where they charge a fee for false alarms...

I was thinking the same thing, this isn't an FML moment

That saddening moment when 9 and/or 92 get moderated for questioning the validity of this FML.

So shes the one calling us so many times reporting about a lost nose....

Those darn kids do the craziest things..