Health: Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea,... - FML

By crap - 17/01/2014 16:24 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 066

You deserved it 4 423

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By rj93 - 05/11/2011 13:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 372

You deserved it 5 847

Number one or number two?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 13:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 73

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 11:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 214

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 154

Geometry

By sickpuppy - 08/09/2019 12:00

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 164

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 035

You deserved it 2 310

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

By Courtney - 30/10/2022 14:00

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 109

Two states of matter

By Anonymous - 15/09/2020 05:02 - Germany

Today, I learned that is it possible to be constipated and have diarrhea at the same time. You run to the toilet every half-hour, but almost nothing comes out and you feel so bloated you could burst, while eating almost nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 26/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Perrysburg

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 982

You deserved it 222

By Anonymous - 22/09/2018 13:30

Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 580

You deserved it 418

Next

Top comments

lilmslady 11

Friday 17 January 2014 21:12

I guess dreams really do come true

leroyjenkins006 10

Friday 17 January 2014 21:11

Let the brown rivers flow

Comments

Kage01 4

Friday 17 January 2014 21:42

lol yeah. I've drempt of going to pee in dreams but get a really nice sensation and realise I've just had a wet dream. Somehow those two things link up for me

pwnman 33

Friday 17 January 2014 21:43

Unless you a zombie!

perdix 29

Friday 17 January 2014 21:53

This sounds like it could be a new Jeff Foxworthy bit. He needs to retire "You may be a redneck if..."

worldclassrager 39

Friday 17 January 2014 21:54

Well also dream orgasms happen...

catella_fml 12

Friday 17 January 2014 21:55

Prepare yourselves the "shitty situation" puns are coming

hickdog 6

Saturday 18 January 2014 14:01

"the shitty puns are coming"? where have you been, honey? they done came already.

chocolatefrog28 29

Friday 17 January 2014 21:58

Sounds like you had a shitty night's rest. Sorry to hear it, OP.

Meld86 12

Friday 17 January 2014 21:58

Diarrhea cha cha cha

snugglesMcGee199 23

Saturday 18 January 2014 0:02

Charmin!

beckiebear 15

Friday 17 January 2014 22:02

I'm guessing it's time to invest in a new mattress!

Xotoolyxo 16

Friday 17 January 2014 22:03

Wow, is it that bad?

FlyingPie 17

Friday 17 January 2014 22:09

I can imagine your reaction when you woke up.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Roommate Music Singing Miscellaneous Embarrassing Relatable TV shows Animals Dogs Cheating AITA Sports Weird Love Death Awkward Annoying Family Doctor Health Work Capitalism Money Drunk Friends Concert Coworkers Intimacy Sextoys Pranks

The Top

Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 100

You deserved it 433

Today, I was talking to this girl I have dinner with every week. She’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. She said, "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was, "Aren't we?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 794

You deserved it 15 815

The Top

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 851

You deserved it 4 600

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 928

You deserved it 1 684

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 7 314

Today, I bought 3 buckets of expensive low-calorie ice cream because it was on sale, only to discover it tastes rather awful. I thought I liked that stuff… Oh, I remember now, I did like it… After mixing it with lots of chocolate spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 1 225

Who's the chicken now, punk?

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 116

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321 467

You deserved it 22 999