Health: Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea,... - FML

By crap - 17/01/2014 16:24 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 066

You deserved it 4 423

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Same thing different taste

By rj93 - 05/11/2011 13:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 372

You deserved it 5 847

Number one or number two?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 13:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 73

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 11:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 214

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 154

Geometry

By sickpuppy - 08/09/2019 12:00

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 164

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 035

You deserved it 2 310

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

By Courtney - 30/10/2022 14:00

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 109

Two states of matter

By Anonymous - 15/09/2020 05:02 - Germany

Today, I learned that is it possible to be constipated and have diarrhea at the same time. You run to the toilet every half-hour, but almost nothing comes out and you feel so bloated you could burst, while eating almost nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 26/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Perrysburg

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 982

You deserved it 222

By Anonymous - 22/09/2018 13:30

Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 580

You deserved it 418

Next

Top comments

lilmslady 11

Friday 17 January 2014 21:12

I guess dreams really do come true

leroyjenkins006 10

Friday 17 January 2014 21:11

Let the brown rivers flow

Comments

jh921971 10

Saturday 18 January 2014 15:17

Surprise! :D

jloko16 11

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:27

Dream until your dreams come true

painting_pirate 3

Saturday 18 January 2014 19:31

urinating too

Its_Shay 10

Saturday 18 January 2014 20:45

Is it weird that I have had a dream like this before?

dreishot 1

Saturday 18 January 2014 21:43

this happen to my lil bro before.. it was all over the walls, bed and floor!!

Shade1982 20

Monday 20 January 2014 11:32

... WHAT???

Aweh_Olivia 13

Sunday 19 January 2014 1:48

That's like having a dream that you're peeing , only to wake up in a soaked bed.

sweetdisorder 6

Saturday 8 February 2014 3:47

Eww... Never been in that situation. But thank god so...

Llammas 8

Wednesday 19 February 2014 5:25

And all your dreams came true! At least that one

cwl727 32

Friday 14 March 2014 20:10

I have dreamed of having my period and I end up getting it the next day.

EthanTheStrange 4

Thursday 15 May 2014 22:20

omg ugh i had the flu really bad once. I had a night terror about a giant boat made of shit, and being locked in the bathroom with no lights on. I had peed, crapped, and a few hours later, threw up. I lost 15 pounds in two days that cold.

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The Top

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 598

You deserved it 6 601

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 910

You deserved it 4 868

The Top

Today, I had my first day of soccer tryouts. We began with a two mile run. Trying to be honest for once, I didn't lie about my time. Everyone else did. I thus got the worst score, and had to run it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 263

You deserved it 4 549

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 911

You deserved it 5 267

Today, I had my six month employee review. My manager said that my attendance was good, and I was exceeding my targets performance wise. My reward, a five cent per hour pay cut. Apparently the rate at which I started is too high to meet their current pay scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 036

You deserved it 2 156

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 063

You deserved it 5 082

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 126

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 358

You deserved it 12 874