Geometry

Actually, I think you learned the soft way..

Been there, done that. The best way to do it is to sit on the toilet with a trash can in front of you. That way, it's harder to miss and there's less of a mess. Hope you feel better soon.

Yeaaah. I tried throwing up first in October, 1997. Now I just sit on the toilet with a bucket in my lap...

that sounds like a war story that starts out:
'back in 19 aught 6' *spits tobaccy

If you feel you have both, sit on toilet and bend over and aim for the trash can.

Grab a bucket, do both at once. Be efficient.

That’s what I was going to say. When my husband and I both had the same stomach bug at the same time we each had a bucket for our face in the toilet for our ass.

Ehh, I don't think you have it the right way... I'd rather clean up vomit from the floor than diarrhea... but then again, I'd rather just sit on the toilet with a bucket or trash can to my face so I can do both without worrying about juggling... The strain of vomiting may force out some diarrhea... The vomiting may come suddenly or while you're in the middle of having a bout of diarrhea. Best to be prepared for both at once than picking and choosing... and choosing wrong...

I remember when I learned this. I had woken up in the middle of the night with stomach pains, so I ran to the toilet and sat down. Soon after, I realized I needed to throw up to so I got on the floor and did. I didn’t flush first. Always flush when switching. Splash back’s a bitch.

... show us on the doll where your grammar hurt you.

All joke aside, 1: Yeah. Ew. That sucks. 2: This would have been easier if you'd written "you should throw up, then have diarrhea. "