Today, I realized that I've been a member of eHarmony for almost a year. No one has ever contacted me out of the 134 people I've been "scientifically" matched with. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
Today, I finally matched with someone on Tinder after using it for a month. I sent a message and they unmatched. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML
Today, at a time when dating app usage is at an all time high, in 3 months I've only managed 4 likes and one brief match on Bumble. I'm not terrible looking by any means, yet I'm weeks away from my 8-year anniversary of being single. Am I cursed or something? FML
Today, it's not enough that men IRL tell me to smile, now the dating apps have OK'd this and decided it's fine to send me email with a stock phrase saying, "[Match's name] wants to see you smile back!" Online dating is the bane of my existence but also my best bet for not being single forever. Curse you, eHarmony. FML
Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML
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Top comments
coopcas 0
eHarmony is full of bigots, anyhow. Go out more, you're wasting your money. They don't even accept gays, the bastards.
24788 7
Why don't you try contacting them?
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Comments (131)
kateisbored 0
don't go on those sites. You should get out more and meet people and I am sure you will find someone.
manda97 3
contact them. also, who needs em. dating online is dangerous. could be meeting with an old, fat dude.
neonoodle 0
Take some initiative
tomberryboy 0
Wow that must suck,they all probally found someone els before they contacted u,try calling them stupid.
stop_whining 0
And the lesson is: being able to create an online dating profile does not guarantee a love connection. Maybe your time would be better served trying to meet some people "in reality."
fallen_dragonkin 12
internet dating is a great way to meet someone, but a lot of the dating sites suck. either there is hardly any members, or no one contacts anyone else, unless they're incredibly good looking or slutty, and there is always lots of fakes, people from russia and nigeria madly in love with you after seeing your picture.. it took me ten tries to find a really good dating website where i was actually getting contacted and meeting up with people, so don't give up, keep trying different sites. however in case you're a boy, you do have to be the one to send out the first email, much like in real life.
jnic 0
Wow, I think #44 is the one whose life is ****** if she's growing up in an environment that teaches her that you should have a boyfriend before you turn 12. ****.
xoxkarinexox 0
eharmony us bull. go to find someone in a coffee shopbor sonething
whobutme23 0
OP, stop being a clown and contact somebody else first. And, wow at #22, F your life.
whobutme23 0
Oh, and #44 get off of FMyLife and go do your math homework..... smh, Children these days...