Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML
Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, I was helping my elderly dementia client with her toilet. I reached in both front and back to pull up her pants for her. "Not too hard, nice and easy..." she said with a weird smile. I looked over to see I was actually pulling her nipple. FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML
Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML
Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Oh wow. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
jio_freed 0
You must have magic fingers
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Comments (234)
jio_freed 0
You must have magic fingers
GrandTheftLlama 0
omg that is sooooo wrong. I wouldn't know whether to feel disgusted with myself or like a god.
wheatie 0
aww pry her first is a while. be happy you gave her tht simple pleasure before she dies.
12luck34 0
1- Hahahahahaha lolz (;
v8rax 0
lmao @ wheatie if that's how u spell it lol
Abbeygale 8
I thought they only allowed female carers to wash/help with personal things when the patient is female?
redbluegreen 41
Oh wow. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
hilda_kitty 16
one of those baby bards, eh? they always taste the weirdest... how's that for gross?
fash 0
Ohhh, awkward.
Hawk42 16
Do you mean hawkward?
myfairyoshi_fml 0
Ummm....... wow I think i just died a little on the inside. I now understand how you got a patient "really happy" O.o
wheatie 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
kind of slow aren't we?
iPeterPan 8
Kind of a bitch aren't we?
_cheeseballs 0
I lol'd majorly.
agifttotearapart 0
lollllll
love2shop 0
urghh ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ZiggyMorrison 0
oh baaaaaby thats hot nothing like good ol granny orgasms
graceinsheepwear 34
There are lots of younger people in long term care following injury or with chronic conditions. It doesn't say anywhere that she was old.
Sevenfold 0
LOLOL. I just spit up alittle...
princessxD 0
Lmfao, this is gross.