Today, our 2-year-old poured honey on our baby. FML

By Anonymous - 1/3/2017 20:00

I agree, your life sucks

3900

You deserved it

390

Favorite

Kids

Mr Sensitivity

This is fine

Not a cheating!

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 14/6/2019 16:00

Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1611

You deserved it

191

Favorite

By SpanishInFrenchClass - 6/12/2012 05:35 - United States

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29673

You deserved it

5398

Favorite

By KatieElizabeth - 27/10/2013 04:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41406

You deserved it

2713

Favorite

By fuji - 16/10/2018 17:30

Today, I was pulled over and given a ticket for a broken tail light. On the way to the mechanic. To get my tail light fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2235

You deserved it

164

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/2/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16738

You deserved it

37348

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/5/2012 16:28 - United States - Belleville

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36690

You deserved it

4528

Favorite

By Toolate - 21/12/2016 12:26

Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13497

You deserved it

1286

Favorite

By Sally - 24/7/2009 09:04 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

I agree, your life sucks

65853

You deserved it

4724

Favorite

By Smoothskin - 19/9/2013 21:18 - Australia - Heidelberg

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46184

You deserved it

3920

Favorite

By where's the epipen - 23/10/2016 06:41 - United States - Tampa

Today, I accidentally stepped on a dead bee. The stinger was still intact. How do I know? It stung my foot. I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9721

You deserved it

862

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/5/2012 05:26 - United States - Burbank

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23260

You deserved it

2445

Favorite

By skreweduP - 15/6/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41166

You deserved it

3764

Favorite

By Casey - 14/10/2010 18:20 - United States

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28829

You deserved it

4878

Favorite

By awkward - 5/9/2017 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a friend's "party". Everyone bailed but my friend didn't say anything, so it's just me and my girl. The train tickets alone cost £20. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3190

You deserved it

310

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 00:48 - Canada

Today, for my 18th birthday my mum gave me a black lace thong. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43241

You deserved it

4134

Favorite

By mrWrong - 25/3/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

101753

You deserved it

12074

Favorite

By Concert Flatulent - 10/7/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15899

You deserved it

29028

Favorite

By - 26/12/2019 20:00

Christmas shopping

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2145

You deserved it

197

Favorite

By terribob1 - 8/7/2016 14:52

Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12421

You deserved it

4446

Favorite

By Jack - 3/4/2013 21:40

Today, my washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked my neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I came home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37458

You deserved it

5111

Favorite

By representative - 20/4/2017 00:00

Today, I was let go without warning at work. Why? Because my boss saw some comments I'd posted. Nothing I'd said was offensive or controversial, but he said he didn't care, because he didn't agree with it and didn't want me to "smear" the company name. I represent the company? I just serve coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4581

You deserved it

859

Favorite

By LesToiliettes - 25/3/2012 07:12 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26739

You deserved it

2131

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/8/2012 14:52 - United States

Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi-driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21547

You deserved it

2431

Favorite

By Lost - 14/1/2010 15:57 - United States

Today, it was my 18th birthday. Nobody said anything. Gillette sent me a free razor though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40193

You deserved it

3133

Favorite

By frogface_fml - 20/5/2020 05:00

Family ain't all it's cracked up to be

Today, I talked to my birth mother for the first time in over 26 years. Five minutes into our conversation, I remembered why I stayed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1444

You deserved it

165

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/7/2016 22:35 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I saw my ex best friend and my cheating ex-girlfriend hanging out at the gym, where I work. They signed up here just to piss me off. It's working. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16297

You deserved it

1112

Favorite

By notrocketscience - 7/5/2012 15:57 - United States - West Monroe

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24272

You deserved it

3725

Favorite

By Stiffed - 7/4/2016 09:19 - Australia - Warrnambool

Today, my old boss stiffed me on a large sum of money he owes me. I tried to contact him and point out that he legally owes me the money, but he won't answer his texts or his phone, and the managers say he changes the subject whenever they bring it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21077

You deserved it

1473

Favorite

By my first job - 6/4/2016 20:02 - Canada - Westerose

Today, after working for 12 hours in the cold rain on muddy terrain, my coordinator drove down a hill and didn't come back. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, forced to walk two hours uphill back to HQ to find him there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18065

You deserved it

1154

Favorite

By NotSarahConnor - 11/3/2018 20:30 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boss thought it was funny to fire me by putting on dark sunglasses and saying "You have been terminated" in a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4818

You deserved it

367

Favorite

By anonymous - 17/1/2017 20:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6293

You deserved it

1839

Favorite

By badmom - 27/3/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks

90043

You deserved it

17902

Favorite

By internetloser - 16/8/2017 16:15 - United States - Kewaskum

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How you may ask? He used the adult swim "we should see other people" commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3473

You deserved it

271

Favorite

By Allison Arsenault - 7/6/2020 08:08

Cheap-ass perv!

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years thinks that it is too expensive to get married, go on vacations, concerts, etc., but spends $100+/month on Hentai. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1743

You deserved it

420

Favorite

By 3yrneveragainn - 31/12/2011 00:45

Today, I figured out why the man I've been seeing for 3 years hasn't asked for my hand in marriage. His current wife called me and told me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36946

You deserved it

4092

Favorite

By Eagle - 26/1/2010 06:05 - United States

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42870

You deserved it

13084

Favorite

By wookieewhosshe - 25/4/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my phone stopped charging. I panicked because I can't really afford to get it fixed, and it's too stressful a time at my last semester at university to not have a phone. I took it to the repair shop, and the man turned it off and on again. it works perfectly. I'm a total idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

938

You deserved it

1721

Favorite

By Braceyourself - 25/9/2016 05:44 - United States - San Pablo

Today, I went in for an audition. Since my wrist had been in a brace all week, I felt I would be fine without it for one day because I didn't want it to be a distraction. I tripped in the middle of the dance routine and crashed on top of my injured wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10429

You deserved it

4612

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/1/2015 14:34 - United States

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44504

You deserved it

2670

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/7/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42397

You deserved it

5747

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By CheekyRaccoon | 27

#7418626 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 20:04

Well ain't that sweet?

By thatnucca | 36

#7418803 - Thursday 2 March 2017 4:08

Oh sweet baby Jesus...

COMMENTS

By CheekyRaccoon | 27

#7418626 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 20:04

Well ain't that sweet?

By dabomsht123 | 3

#7418641 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 20:21

Y'all must laughed like crazy.

By Cali | 54

#7418656 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 20:40

The 2-year-old was worried about all that wispy hair and tried to help with a honey mask. So thoughtful!

By Rock_Lobsterr | 10

#7418657 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 20:42

RIP Huskers jersey.

By loserman67 | 35

#7418669 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 21:37

Your baby looks like a sweetie !

By WhatHappenedToIt | 22

#7418735 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 23:59

wtf is "I agree, we'll spotted" suppose to mean haha

By 0neiros | 13

#7418792 - Thursday 2 March 2017 3:12

This should be followed with - Today I got my ass beat for pouring honey on my sibling. FML

By thatnucca | 36

#7418803 - Thursday 2 March 2017 4:08

Oh sweet baby Jesus...

By species4872 | 19

#7418824 - Thursday 2 March 2017 5:12

Honey, I got the kid.

By embarrasseddaily | 7

#7418830 - Thursday 2 March 2017 5:17

that seems like a sticky situation