Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML
Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Halfway through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
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Top comments
satanic_fml 13
watch **** in a language you don't know
Catkam623 27
Mute it, then sit back and fill the dialogue with complex grammer sentences. You'll be done in no time.
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Comments (124)
perdix 31
"Grammatically incorrect" doesn't require a hyphen, and my testicles just sucked up into my body cavity!
epicwaffles 7
I can feel them being squeezed into ovaries, god OP! stop it!
Welshite 40
#15: You have a problem with ovaries? The females on this site may not appreciate your sentiment.
epicwaffles 7
Most men tend to not want to have ovaries, but mabye that's just me.
jizzwold 21
Luckily, even the most hardcore feminists are usually not that ridiculous, 17.
nightowl713 25
His sentence structure could also use some help. While ending the FML with the 'I lose my boner' is definitely more dramatic with suspense, the first sentence just doesn't compute right. I got the gist of what he meant, but " Today, I realized I'm such a grammar nazi, that when I watch a ****..." makes much more sense as "Today, I realized I'm such a grammar nazi, that I lose my boner when a **** uses bad grammar." or something like that anyway..or he could have simply added a comma after 'that' I 'spose that would work too. Now I'm just rambling.
SuperDanielNL 23
@17 Dude, watch your ovaries man...
assassinbanana0 20
Why don't you just mute it?
MakeTodayADTR 20
That is beyond grammar nazi territory. You sir, may be grammar Hitler. xD
DocBastard 40
The fact that you inappropriately used a hyphen in "grammatically-incorrect" is irony at its finest. Your only hope is watching Asia Carrera solo videos. She is a member of Mensa, you know.
The_Thinker 18
I'll just assume the role of devil's advocate here and point out that the incorrect use of a hyphen is has all to do with punctuation, rather than grammar.
DocBastard 40
I consider punctuation part of grammar, much like the seeds are part of the watermelon that no one likes and spits out.
Sinistra_Blue 12
So what does that make the watermelon rind? Phonetics?
WishForTheWorld 9
You have the perfect profile picture for this. I just read a comment that said "my penis is sucking into my body and filing my ovaries" or something an your picture made me think of this
MissWhitneyB 17
Mute it, try another language but you sir are no Grammer Nazi when you used a hyphen incorrectly.
alaen23 23
But that is a punctuation error…
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Grammar*
MissWhitneyB 17
#39 thanks for the correction but I'm not the best in the grammer department so no need to correct :).
darkangel21492 10
And again, you spelled grammar wrong...
helen_ellexo 22
Where's spell check when you need it?
ilovefall10 21
"Grammatically-incorrect" ? Hell, I know that my grammar isn't the greatest, but at least I know that that's wrong. Seriously, if the problem is this base to discourage masturbation, then suggest therapy.
ilovefall10 21
Bad*
cathyfang1533 12
Did they say something like '**** me harderer' or 'Your organ is so magnificently huge, you must of conditioned it so well'. Well take your pick OP.
Rainbow_sparkles 7
.....
insomniac8400 13
Grammatically incorrect. No hyphen. What kind of grammar nazi are you
MrSarcasmic 10
I actually wouldn't be surprised if that was a fetish that already existed look it up op