Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML
Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Halfway through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
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Top comments
satanic_fml 13
watch **** in a language you don't know
Catkam623 27
Mute it, then sit back and fill the dialogue with complex grammer sentences. You'll be done in no time.
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Comments (124)
Himlagott 14
Marry me! We'd have the best sex ever.
VictoriaLeavitt 4
Clearly not a punctuation Nazi, I presume.
The_Thinker 18
Those **** actors really need to assume their roles as promiscuous librarians more appropriately, huh?
olpally 33
Good. I'm glad you are so wound up like that. It makes me feel better about my description in my profile. Lol. I'd hate to lose my boner over something as dumb as that though. Jesus.
ShakeDisPlace 10
Make sure you don't run into any hillbilly recheck **** OP, there will be Many boners lost.
Druu 53
HYPHEN UNNECESSARY
graceinsheepwear 34
CAPS UNNECESSARY TOO. WE HEAR YOU.
olpally 33
LOUD NOISES!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! Lol.
rosenkrieger223 24
Caps lock: cruise control for awesome. haha
MzZombicidal 36
Caps Lock is just Billy Mays mode.
sushi314 12
"Grammar" doesn't need to be capitalized before Nazi and "grammatically incorrect" doesn't need a hyphen where you used it. YDI.
Danielle7994 18
The "G" in "Grammar" Nazi should be capitalized though because it's used as a title. It's like calling your teacher "Professor Smith"
kayteakay 26
Sound like you're going to remain 'bothered' until you learn to get over it.
angelitared 27
That blows
davincidasecond 24
Dude, seek therapy. I personally have dealt with enough of you grammar nazis to last a lifetime.