By Anonymous - 17/06/2012 04:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 362
You deserved it 12 170

Same thing different taste

Top comments

perdix 29

A big turn-off is the unexpected period.


What's really sad is that OP calls fanfiction "erotic literature"

BunchieRules 31

Real-life Grammar Nazis... we meet again! You weren't reading Fifty Shades of Grey, were you? o.O Irregardless, you shouuld become an editor or publisher's assistant if it bothers you to that extent.

*twitches at the use of "irregardless"*

BunchieRules 31

15 - I'm so glad you noticed. At my mention of FMyLife's many real-life grammar Nazis, I simply had to throw it in there somewhere. ;D

BunchieRules 31

Whoops! While mentioning grammar Nazis, I somehow found a way to sneak in an extra "u" in shouuld... Beat you to it.

mariah_victoria 0

No, actually, it has probably happened to a lot of people.

I don't know if Id call it cockblocking when you were going to flog the dolphin to a book, instead of having real sex with a real life girl.

I do the same thing. Except I'm a chick.

So glad to know I'm not the only one. Yep, it happens to me, too. This generally means that unless it's published, and sometimes even then, I can't really read erotic literature. Maybe I should offer to edit their stories...

perdix 29

A big turn-off is the unexpected period.

34, That can be taken in two very different ways.

perdix 29

#34, in that realm, another turn-off is going in for anal, only to find that the girl has Crohn's Diesase and only has a semi-colon ;)

47 you tried to hard 42 that was the point because 4's comment was the same way

Seriously, one of the best comments I've ever read on FML! *claps*

Perdix, what a foul preposition! Shame on you.

A bigger turnoff would be a missed period.

Maybe it has been too long since you orgasmed, therefore, you were easily turned on? I would stick to ****, if I were you, so you're guaranteed a good time while getting yourself off.

Something tells me you turned to books after several nights were cut short by you correcting your one night stand in the heat of the moment?

22cute 17

If you don't understand the appeal of erotic stories for females you should really keep your mouth shut and learn something instead of taking shots at the Op.

thatKidzmOm 10

30-a bit sensitive, huh? Seems almost inevitable that most posters will take a crack at the OP.

22cute 17

30 - I can see where you might think that. But, no I just find authentic discussion more entertaining than slapstick. Get it?

A lot of people do but you aren't going to find it in the comments of a website mostly populated by teenagers.

bizarre_ftw 21

Where does it say op is female? I'm not saying girls can't enjoy **** - I'm not an idiot - but why turn this into another WWII (Woe is to Women, Incarcerate Imbeciles) battle with out even a spark for it?

Keep it simple then! Grab a Playboy mag! You are thinking too much OP!!

You know for some reason I got the idea that OP is a chick, and if that's correct then I don't think playboy is going to help.

I don't know about that, I am female & I find them quite sexy to look at...

I've never looked at a playboy magazine myself, but isn't it full of naked women? Sorry but unless you're not straight then that's not exactly a turn on lol.

I'm straight as... Don't knock it till you try it... Lol

Shadow_Phantom 26

You're not straight if you're a female who is turned on by other women.

14 & 22- I'm a straight woman, and I can appreciate attractive women; I don't think it's odd, since females are generally the 'prettier' sex. I don't get turned on by girls, but I will totally stare at a hot chick and be like, "damn! Work it, girl!"

22cute 17

22- please, real life is not so easily defined and pigeonholed. 9- the female imagination is better than any pic. And thinking ain't so bad - try it maybe! Op - you need to find a better class of book. Or find someone sexy to read it aloud to you.

bizarre_ftw 21

31 - dyslexic moment? You mean 6, 9 is perdix

perdix 29

And that made me lose my boner!

BunchieRules 31

Congrats, Didi. You have successfully made the notorious Bunchie laugh. I tip my hat to you.

Caliborn_06 11
BunchieRules 31

26 - Yes, but only after Didi corrected it. Originally it said "gramatical", which is quite ironic, considering OP is being a grammar Nazi and a drama queen.

26-I don't even....*deep sigh* Didi-Can we create an eject button for idiots that kicks them from the FML? Just curious. Actually, a facepalm button would probably be more satisfying.

33- it's not ironic. OP's issue was with incorrect grammar, not spelling. So they can misspell the crap out of whatever they want, and as long as the grammar is correct, it'll be fine :D

perdix 29

#19, sorry, Didi, but yes, you did ;) Thanks, bro!

BunchieRules 31

37 - I suppose you're right, but I'm sure OP is also obsessed with conventions, because the two seem to go hand in hand. Most grammar Nazis correct any errors they find in a post, including bad spelling. And I just thought it was ironic because while the OP is babbling on about grammar, s/he didn't even notice the errors in the post.

#7 serious fail..grammatical isn't spelled incorrectly.

*rolls eyes at 109* How about you go back and read comment 19 under this one then stop, reboot brain and try again.

If you were reading off a website, that's to be expected. Also, you spelt grammatical wrong ;) I bet that's killing you!

Actually, many of the online ones are written better than actual published books. *coughfiftyshadesofgreycough*

"N den she orgasmed fifty-leven times n becamez mah smex slave!!!" You sure about that, dude?

I'm quite fond of that "Literotica" site myself. Most of them are littered with grammatical and spelling errors, but there are quite a few good stories.

87) There's one that actually touched my heart(strangely enough). It was incest, something I'm usually not into, but the writing skill was amazing. Name: Words on Skin

That seems to be happening lately in the FML world.

This has happened to me too. It gets you out of the moment when you realize that whoever wrote the story is an idiot.

twisted_cherub 14

Me, too. I don't even bother anymore. It's not just the grammar and spelling, either; the stories seldom make sense. Also, what ever happened to description? What about build up before climax? Do these "writers" not know what foreplay is? Ugghh! Damn it, now I'm upset.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

This is probably something I'd do.... I catch mistakes in ANYTHING! The other day I went to a college to check it out and a sign on the door spelled "conference" wrong... I'm not sure how it was spelled, but I was very appalled. Hello, it's a college! Don't they know how to spell?!

Build up before climax.. Hehe. Sorry, had to say it.

That is why I usually have a pen and/or a pencil near by so I can make a mark in my book.