Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z"... - FML

By slcbabii23 - 1/10/2009 07:56 - United States

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

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Rock, hard place

Long story short

Child labor

By JustAGiftCardPlease - 16/6/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML

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By krushr - 23/1/2011 05:32 - Canada

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

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By mraow123 - 30/5/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

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By SoMuchForThatIdea - 12/6/2017 00:00

Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML

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By habbsrule - 15/6/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/8/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my parents on their first day back from New York with candles I made. I used actual lavender flecks from our garden for the scent in the candles. My plan worked until the lavender caught on fire which then spread to all of our mail and newspapers. Welcome home. FML

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By "ironyyyyyyy" -_- - 31/10/2013 16:58 - United States - Marion

Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness of pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML

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By unbelievable - 3/6/2017 20:00

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend always says she's been at "Alex's house", she hasn't meant the house of her friend Alexis, but rather the house of the man she has been cheating on me with. She literally told me she was cheating on me and still managed to avoid getting caught. FML

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By ZG_Rules - 20/3/2015 14:38 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

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By Mandy - 17/9/2011 00:25 - Canada

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

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By GodMemory_AbsentMind - 21/3/2017 18:00

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

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By Ashley Harn - 23/8/2018 18:30

Today, I found out I'm allergic to something in the city water. I've had itchy patches and rashes all over my body, but I can't afford to pay for the filtration system that would solve it. My landlord forbids any modifications to the shower and washing machine. FML

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By anonymous - 20/1/2012 05:02 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

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By wow - 27/5/2013 16:17 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I found out that my husband of 12 years has been sleeping with my best friend of even longer for who knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me and implied that it was my fault for finding out about it. FML

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By seriously - 2/10/2010 20:31 - United States

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

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By I_Am_The_Edge - 11/6/2009 16:06 - United States

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

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By FML - 5/7/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

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By tictacnose - 8/1/2012 00:33 - Canada

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

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By nalathelionqueen - 10/8/2012 22:44 - United States - North Hills

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

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By SoCalStoopid - 9/9/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, to save money, I bought some meat in bulk. When I got home, I was told that power to the neighborhood was out, and probably would be for days. Rather than let the meat rot, I barbecued it all and gave it away to my neighbors. The power came on while everyone was eating. FML

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By rattledwife666 - 21/1/2017 14:00

Today, when I asked my husband to join me in the shower to "save water", he said, "Let the environment suffer, not me." FML

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By MomStayOutOfTheCar - 4/8/2015 04:23 - United States

Today, I got a ticket for "suspicious driving" because my total shit of a mother kept tugging on the wheel to annoy me, and I still had to pay it. FML

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By larry_richard - 4/4/2018 18:00 - United States

April Fool

Today, I was told an assignment that was supposed to be due in a week and a half is due today. I crammed all night and ended up getting 3 hours of sleep. Turns out it was an April Fool's prank. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/7/2020 02:01

Lazy comeback

Today, I was doing my job and trying to teach a lazy bunch of 16-year-olds. A girl entered the room just 15 minutes before class ended, so I snapped, "Someone had better have died for you to be this late!" She immediately burst into tears. Turns out, someone had. FML

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By tryingatkins - 21/8/2009 09:27 - United States

Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML

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By okaythen - 14/8/2016 19:21 - United States - Euless

Today, I asked out this girl at work who I've had a crush on for a while. She looked oddly familiar, aside from the fact that we worked together. It was almost like we'd met outside of work. Two hours and one Snapchat story later, I realized I'd asked out my best friend's girlfriend. FML

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By ColderThanCold - 15/3/2019 00:00

Today, the company that was supposed to clear our apartment's parking lot never showed up. I almost got frostbite in my fingers trying to shovel someone's car out since my gloves got soaking wet. FML

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By none - 22/8/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

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By Anonymous - 15/2/2013 07:18 - United States - Modesto

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/4/2014 18:46 - United States - Swartz Creek

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

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By anonymous - 19/7/2014 04:43 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

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By atetoeate - 27/8/2010 06:49 - United States

Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML

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By fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/7/2013 16:23 - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/6/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

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By Great... - 9/11/2011 22:48 - United States

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

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By Leyla - 27/10/2015 01:23 - United States - Franklin

Today, my boyfriend and I respectfully asked my landlady if he could stay with me until he gets back on his feet. He was robbed at gunpoint in his house last night. Landlady then yelled because we aren't married, and then showed up at my door at 10pm, "just making sure John isn't here". FML

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By disney_dick - 8/1/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

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By twinkie2 - 21/1/2011 08:35 - United States

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

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By nerdsgetmehot - 29/12/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, six months have passed since my parents announced that they're getting a divorce. We're all still awkwardly living together because we haven't been able to sell our house yet. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/7/2014 17:45 - United States - Lititz

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

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Top comments

By Lisa89 | 3

#597644 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:21

I do the same :3.
I try ans save my work as i'm painting (on canvas) then realize i don't need to :P.

By sonicmega | 3

#597689 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:46

My version of this is all the times I've misspelled a word accidentally while writing an essay, and half expected a red squiggly line to appear underneath it. FML

COMMENTS

By blakehilli8 | 0

#597630 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:11

first

Reply

lifeislife_fml | 0

#597638 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:19

Now all the petulant "first" haters are going to comment on your post, throwing petty insults at you while sounding like douches themselves. Care to comment now?

Reply

Intoxicunt | 5

#597705 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:59

*Throws "jackass"*
*Throws "fucktard"*

How am I doing?

Reply

Mihir | 1

#598183 - Thursday 1 October 2009 22:26

AHAHA Literally made me laugh outloud!! I hope theres not much time until that starts to happen xD

Reply

youreanidiot | 0

#598466 - Friday 2 October 2009 0:16

Just going to say, since FML has been allowing all these FMLs moderated and selected by this Kevin Nealon, all of the FMLs he's been accepting have been terrible FMLs.

Reply

Duckasaurus | 0

#598520 - Friday 2 October 2009 0:39

I've done this before.

Reply

boricua_4life407 | 5

#599943 - Friday 2 October 2009 20:31

Lmao! :P

Reply

Synedge | 0

#600670 - Saturday 3 October 2009 4:06

Agree

Reply

krissayyy | 0

#602303 - Sunday 4 October 2009 5:32

i dont understand how u can ctrl z a paper?

Reply

millyXD | 0

#611453 - Friday 9 October 2009 6:09

#132
Thats excactly what I thought.

Reply

marleytooyou | 0

#944929 - Sunday 14 March 2010 6:09

what does ctrl z do ??? I'm confused

Reply

blankaex | 0

#983691 - Thursday 22 April 2010 17:29

^^ Undo. And this sounds like another FML where someone tried to Ctrl+F seafood on a menu.

Reply

LolAtYourFail | 12

#1181476 - Tuesday 3 August 2010 15:18

I've done that before!!!

By Umeshalaka | 0

#597640 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:21

Zomg!! I got second!!! YESSSS
Jk you fail and you coppied that one with CNTRL F on a dining menu

Reply

Anonymous75_fml | 0

#1020491 - Saturday 5 June 2010 14:59

tots

Reply

ObeseKitten | 0

#2616995 - Saturday 4 June 2011 7:23

But.. you got third... :c

Reply

facilitator | 0

#3191015 - Saturday 27 August 2011 21:37

How is he the first comment yet #3?

Reply

kittykat1501 | 31

#6351941 - Thursday 16 July 2015 5:34

1 and 2 were deleted, I believe

By Lisa89 | 3

#597644 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:21

I do the same :3.
I try ans save my work as i'm painting (on canvas) then realize i don't need to :P.

Reply

cwl727 | 32

#5901492 - Monday 31 March 2014 22:00

same here

By letitbe56 | 0

#597646 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:22

This is ripped off from PostSecret France.

By Banannikka | 1

#597657 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:29

I've done CTRL+F in a school text book. This belongs on MLIA, because clearly too many people have done this.

Reply

TheTragicReturn | 0

#597678 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:37

Ditto to EVERYTHING you said.

I get so disappointed when I realize I can't use ctrl + F in textbooks.

Reply

TC1_fml | 0

#597707 - Thursday 1 October 2009 17:00

+1, especially when there's no index in the book.

Reply

diet_otaku | 0

#597708 - Thursday 1 October 2009 17:01

i was just thinking this was more MLIA than FML.

By lakeylove | 0

#597669 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:34

um....
so computers are rad. I use mine 24/7. and I'm not fat yay

Reply

HenryFBP | 0

#3380287 - Monday 3 October 2011 4:10

Why would computers make you fat? Overeating does that. Computers make you...compute...

Reply

Lizzypop98 | 6

#4086423 - Saturday 25 February 2012 14:41

If you eat and eat and do nothing but use the computer what do you think will happen? You'll get fat.

By suziie_fml | 0

#597676 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:35

Haha don't feel bad I do that A lot when I am drawing free hand

By delfinofrank | 0

#597688 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:45

Not an FML. I bring my laptop everywhere with me. When I don't have it I experience crazy withdrawal symptoms...

Reply

jenny_gaal | 5

#2035532 - Wednesday 2 February 2011 6:30

lol win ^^

By sonicmega | 3

#597689 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:46

My version of this is all the times I've misspelled a word accidentally while writing an essay, and half expected a red squiggly line to appear underneath it. FML

By manderella15 | 0

#597692 - Thursday 1 October 2009 16:49

lol thats okay, i've done that alot =P

Reply

Emma_91 | 0

#598771 - Friday 2 October 2009 2:40

Me too XD
Makes m feel like not such a loser to see that others do that too