Intimacy: Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give...

By allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 320

You deserved it 45 444

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Same thing different taste

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 426

You deserved it 4 158

By hoovered - 04/03/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 046

You deserved it 22 448

By anonymous - 04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 481

You deserved it 425

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 427

You deserved it 10 139

Played yourself

By nano123 - 17/04/2020 08:00

Today, I gave myself a hickey on my bicep just to know how it feels. I'm a 28-year-old virgin and yes, that's possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 559

By nonymous human subject - 14/11/2015 20:02 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 544

You deserved it 7 871

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 414

You deserved it 6 291

By Kevin - 09/09/2011 12:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 199

You deserved it 42 931

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 570

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 908

You deserved it 46 988

milakitty21 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 9:05

who were you trying to impress?

srunano 4

Wednesday 14 July 2010 9:04

Stop playing with your vacuum hose and go to a club or a party....then maybe you can get laid

Comments

Sexy_Lexi 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 8:28

God damn. Get some.

Breeee23 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 15:19

Hella Wierd Hun..

hunterluv1 20

Sunday 17 October 2010 1:06

eww hickeys are gross! who cares anyway? YDI.

arthur2190 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 13:09

loser!lol

birdfreak 24

Sunday 26 December 2010 4:28

I'm sorry

angels_siren 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 21:45

Girls can give themselves one on their breasts :) how do i know well er...... .^-^

bizzbiff 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 7:46

baaaaaaaaha

ZeroIce 12

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:00

did it hurt? did it work? :P

CaptainTuna 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 3:02

I love you

live4tomorrow 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 23:22

Uhm.. Somebody died from that.. It was on the show 1000 Ways To Die.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 44 453

You deserved it 3 567

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I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 85

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 29 885

You deserved it 3 042

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I agree, your life sucks 28 926

You deserved it 4 360

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I agree, your life sucks 40 147

You deserved it 2 723

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I agree, your life sucks 13 472

You deserved it 1 906

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I agree, your life sucks 58 019

You deserved it 4 106

Today, I realized how bad my grey hair problem has gotten as I noticed I had grey pubes. I'm only 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 916

You deserved it 208

Same thing different taste

Played yourself

I'M SORRY!

Old dog, new tricks

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