Love, Embarrassing and Awkward: Old dog, new tricks

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 908

You deserved it 46 987

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Minabee - 04/02/2010 18:28 - United States

Today, I am meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In so doing, I accidentally touched the iron to my neck, and now I have a burn there that closely resembles a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 973

You deserved it 4 897

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 425

You deserved it 4 158

By Anonymous - 24/09/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 889

You deserved it 2 674

Purple rain, purple rain

By wtf?! - 30/05/2020 05:00

Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 286

By Neckbruise101 - 15/10/2016 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 635

You deserved it 868

By sexxibxmami - 19/02/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 073

You deserved it 3 721

The truth will set you free

By Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 1 019

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 470

You deserved it 9 606

By anonymous - 04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 481

You deserved it 425

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 105

You deserved it 429

DeathByFalchion 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

Not THAT big of a deal if it happened to your mom too.

mhmmhmgood 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

haa, ive used that one too

Comments

DeathByFalchion 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

Not THAT big of a deal if it happened to your mom too.

TheHeroOfTime 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:40

So you and your mother are both *****? EIGHTH

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 7 September 2009 1:45

So because they have gotten hickeys from a boyfriend, they're automatically *****? Your logic is flawless. Irrefutable. Just flawless.

thecanez 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:52

How come everytime I read a post by a woman having to do something with her boyfriend or a boy in a sexual matter she is always referred to as a ****? Does everyone on here not get laid ever or even talk to women? Have fun doing some chick that just lays there in bed like a wet rag some of us guys actually like a girl to know what shes doing. If you think shes dirty wear a condom kids. (should be wearing a condom anyways dont need any kids!)

Emma_91 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:58

#8 is the type of person we like to call an evolutionary fail. :)

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Monday 7 September 2009 2:29

#15, I think the matter is precisely that there's a bunch of really young brats on FML who know nothing of the world and wish they could get laid.... but aren't going to any time soon, of course, so whenever they read anything in here, they immediatly go all "****!! ****!!" about any female that's doing anything (sexual or not) with anyone, since they're all frustrated behind their screens not getting any. XD By the time they grow up, hopefully they'll have evolved enough to reach the stage you're talking about, but I think that for now they can't yet comprehend it. XD

polkadot1196 0

Monday 7 September 2009 5:10

Woopdedooo!

JustSoLost 8

Monday 7 September 2009 6:04

I agree w, # 1. YDI.

Andr3w421 0

Monday 7 September 2009 7:11

**** yeah hickeys are gross who wants someone to suck on their neck???? hickeys are for white trash

oooooo_fml 0

Monday 7 September 2009 7:21

urm...you're a tit. how does that make her a ****? it doesnt.... so shut the **** up.

Tobe_fml 0

Monday 7 September 2009 8:14

Fake, this video has it word for word: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUUWEJgO7dE

tezzabro 0

Monday 7 September 2009 8:50

#92 wtf? it doesnt have to be ur neck, it can b anywhere on ur body.

turner2404 0

Monday 7 September 2009 11:59

i think they ******* know that idiot but the OP did say they had a hickey on their neck so #92 was just saying, specifically, neck

TapeMan_3000 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 22:33

@15: why would you even have sex with someone if you thought they were "dirty" in the first place? don't you feel wrong doing that cause really if you can look at someone and think "this persons probably got an STD from someone else" then aren't a couple red flags going off? both for your own health and your morals?

badluckalex 23

Sunday 7 December 2014 23:30

guys, it doesn't say that they were from boyfriends... we don't know forsure

mhmmhmgood 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

haa, ive used that one too

breakingbenjamin_fml 0

Monday 7 September 2009 5:07

me tooooo rofl

AshleyLoB 0

Monday 7 September 2009 6:19

haha same!

riku3220 2

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

YDI for lying

thishurts 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

yeah , not gonna work . fyl .

smaginn 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:36

Not an FML -.- your mom probably understands.

Tedet 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:40

Should have told her you got strangled.

nando92 0

Monday 7 September 2009 21:23

lmao yes, thats what any normal person would say

Kristin_x 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:41

Be glad your mom didn't freak out and yell at you.

the_stereotype 0

Monday 7 September 2009 2:48

i agree. she just caught you. big deal.

BUTTPLUG 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:42

Hahaha she shouldn't care that much unless you're like 10 I've used that line quite casually and make it quite believable:)

redbluegreen 40

Monday 7 September 2009 1:44

Just wait till you get pregnant. I hope you don't try the swimming pool excuse, for your own sake.

Dee100 0

Monday 7 September 2009 7:35

LMAO!

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 8 September 2009 3:23

omg how did I miss this? Guts ♥

ireply_w_lyrics 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:46

"...He said I've been watching you [mom], ain't that cool I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are We got [cowgirl] boots and [skinny] pants Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we [mom] I wanna do everything you do So I've been watching you..." I had to [edit] it a bit :)