By allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 322
You deserved it 45 451

Same thing different taste

Top comments

milakitty21 0

who were you trying to impress?

Stop playing with your vacuum hose and go to a club or a party....then maybe you can get laid


I always wondered why people actually posted these kind of embarrassing stories... I'd never have the courage to post this up $:

Raleigh_bruh 7

It's anonymous though, so we wouldn't know it was you that posted this story. Unless of course you came on and commented on the Fml. :P

nater535 7

.... Wow that is sorta sad. I would never put that on a public site lol. Fyl.

hghiPigh 0

ydi for not being original. this was done by bud bundy.

LOL, wasn't this mentioned in an episode of George Lopez?

That's just pathetic....that's what drunken one night stands are for

VeryNice329 0

25: you aren't original either. I already mentioned Bud. :P

Blue_Coconuts 7

Yeah, but who wants a hickey? If a girl gives me one, then I get mad.

rosemary1990 0

not fml worthy. instead of publishing this you should go out and get some action

bullshit, this is fake. even if you didn't have any action u wouldn't have just realized it and written an fml. this is someone writing about someone else. I call fake

cbr600_fml 0

Op just go to a club or party they r full of ***** u will get laid if u do

pvthill 0

damn I thought it was bad that I was a virgin till I was 16 fyl op Someone lay this guy

281go 4

I say don't get out some more...... I say invite the toaster,broom, and some more of the vacuums friends and see if you get more action from them.......

pvthill 0

haha scarey movie makin fun of scream wats that guys name with the vaccum cleaner....I'M CLEANING MY ROOM!!!!!!

wow you need to get laid well join the party but do something about it go on chat sites where I go or clubs etc .... that's what I do and it works but that unless you look bad or something no offense ... if you have an iPhone just get looty mix lol I think I spelled the crap right :)

loopt mix **** I got others like who's around,who's here,what's good etc... ect.... :)

hghiPigh 0

42: my comment appears before yours. fyl

WingsFan80 4

it's special officer doofy lol

Shookitup 0

Today, I walked in on my son giving himself a hickey with the vaccum hose. he's 23 and still lives at home. FML.

atticuz 2

Kirby vacuums are powerful just sayin'

VeryNice329 0

83: only because you cheated. so ::raspberry:: yea...I went there. :)

shmexi 0

ohh. I got a real hickey last night(; be jealous(;

treesdevin 0

you gotta be ****** kidding me, that's pathetic

hghiPigh 0

89: stay there and don't come back

msyelowbubblegum 0

hahah u got this idea from fez ;) right?

OhWowFYLindeed 0

I try to avoid hickeys, they look pretty unattractive.

heyygirll 0

stfu faggggot u an ugly niggeerrr

fruitaypatootay 1

wooooow desperate..that's

don't disturb me while I'm cleaning my room!!!

16! wow. now i want a girlfriend who would actually do something with me instead of going to fricken starbucks everyweek.

what's so special about a hickey. And the kid who lost his virginity at 16 that's pretty early. but I lost it last week . I'm 15. man I love my life now I feel accomplished

66 i LOVE your tattoo. there's nothing hotter than a guy with a tat that's original instead of one that ******* looks like it was picked off of the "worlds top 100 most popular tattoos" list... ;)

for those of u sayin hickeys are retarded in my highschool it shows that ur not a loser and can get a hickey. op is obviously in middle shool or highschool

Breeee23 0

21,,, Ur Hot.. ffm is Breeee23 hmu

Stop playing with your vacuum hose and go to a club or a party....then maybe you can get laid

Daerauko 0

yeah, stop bitching and go out and take risks! meet people! it's not as hard as you "losers" (people who are in such selfpity or afraid to take a chance by talking to people) seem to imagine it

yeah dude! put ur beer googles on and get some action!

hmm.. go get some its really not that hard.

milakitty21 0

who were you trying to impress?

Raleigh_bruh 7

^ This. Exactly what I was thinking. I never knew anyone even cared about hickeys anyway.

Maybe, only if you are in middle school??? Otherwise no one thinks hickeys are cool. Personally I think they are trashy!

sean616 3

was doing that really necessary?

the_flirtt 0

wow 40 year old virgin alert

the_flirtt 0
FFML_314 11

OMFG, you're psychic? Me next! Me next! *crosses fingers and hopes for a gold toilet.*

the_flirtt 0
Daerauko 0

lol no gold toilet for you. theflirt will grant you the same style shower

FFML_314 11

What kind of person are you? You can't say you "speak for the future" then turn around and say you're not psychic. Tsk Tsk.

the_flirtt 0
FFML_314 11

You're not picking up on my sarcasm.

the_flirtt 0

no I am it's just fun to play with u ^_^

FFML_314 11

I'm not a very good playground. Everythings rusted up and broken down. Moving on.

silvervolt7 0

oh i get it thats why his name is the flirt OP quickly come learn

silvervolt7 0

looks like someone needs some oiling ;)

MarkFeehily 0

43, if things are "rusted" and "broken down", you might wanna get that checked :P

FFML_314 11

No, it's to late for all that. I was talking about my actual playground and the_flirtt is a very horrible flirt. Lol, no offense.

FFML_314 11

When things are rusted, people use oil to loosen it up.

spikelea 0

47: that was exactly what I was thinking.

I can't help it but I'm attracted to streets. Dreams of better times*

G_babyyy 0

oh how pathetic get over it if getting some action is so important to you then go pursue it OP.

transcedental 18

oh come on all, stop being so mean :/ I am sorry man, this really sounds sad .. I wish u a gal, that would appreciate u for who you are as soon as possible

jade567 0

33- you and your kitten are adorable. Mostly you though. ^_^

VeryNice329 0

I thought of Married With Children as soon as I read this. Bud did the same thing and Kelly caught him.

sk8trzero53 0

fyl op for being anti social, and ydi for trying to fake it :/