By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 432
You deserved it 4 158

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Those vacuums can be pretty deceiving.

It's true. Poor guy was just trying to clean his house when the vacuum decided to revolt and attacked him. Those machines are violent at times.


Those vacuums can be pretty deceiving.

maybe thats why they get along with OPs boyfriend

49 - Because a ******** requires your own neck.

Not as tricky as those damn brooms...they're like ninjas!

I'm sorry guys but I have to vouch for him, I've actually done this to myself and it works, even weak vacuums have enough power to hickey your neck

Lets be honest, 75. Under what circumstances is your vacuum near your neck? More importantly, who knows where else it'll go! .-.

Yes, 1, because a vacuum hose is usually on a guy's penis. I'm a woman but I know pretty much every guy I've ever known has tried it once.

RadeonDerp 24

I think that is quite a believable excuse...

StalkerChick 13

It would've been a better excuse if he said his friend did it(using the vacuum hose) as an April Fools Day prank.

Meenah_fml 4
Redglare 8

I think that was the point of the pun.

musicluvr2000 11

No man, it rocks having a delirious, cheating boyfriend with a pine cone for a brain.

I just realized 3 beat me to it. I don't suppose the phrase "Great minds think alike" will get me out of this?

18, don't be so hard on yourself. You both posted the same exact time.

It's true. Poor guy was just trying to clean his house when the vacuum decided to revolt and attacked him. Those machines are violent at times.

Better watch out for vacuums op. same thing happened to me! I was just vacuuming my room and it started attacking my neck. Weird..

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Well, everybody know that those Henry Hoovers are horny little bastards... I'd be careful if I were you.

Bitch please... Haven't you ever gotten in to a fight with the vacuum???

Chucklikesbacon 12

This was on 1000 ways to die. A woman sucked her neck with the vacuum cleaner and blod started clotting. She died. So that's a bad excuse, and I am sorry that happened to you!

I am now officially petrified of vacuums. Thank you.

Chucklikesbacon 12

Oh she did it on purpouse, because she was trying to get a hickey, and left it there for about 3 minutes. So, as long as you use the vacuum as it's supposed to be used, all is good!

jem970 19

She really died? I am never touching a vaccume again

Chucklikesbacon 12

I'm so sorry! I didn't want to scare you guys!

SparksLikeFlint 2

And that is why I never watch that show. Sometimes, ignorance truly Is bliss.

this whole comment thread got me curious and so I youtubed videos of 1000 ways to die. it was one of those things where I couldn't look away... welp, looks like I'm not getting any sleep tonight.

Have you ever seen a Dyson vacuum? Those things can be damn sexy. But all joking aside dump his cheating ass.